Tag Archive for radio

sounds and hounds

January 15, 2008 uncategorized

first things first, my boyfriend joe has the most hilarious taste in music ever. mostly, he listens to hardcore and metal. one might think this would be a problem since i don’t like to listen to either of those musics, but it isn’t because a) i think it’s kind of sexy that he does, and b) he has this freaky, inexplicable passion for bad 80s soft rock. seriously. i find this SO adorable, but so so so strange! it’s not like joe’s some kind of poseur (at least i assume not, i don’t really know anything about metal and hardcore, but he seems pretty fucking serious about it), it’s just that he really enjoys such classics as “i can’t go for that” by hall and oates. oops, i forgot to ask his permission to write about this (he is a “permission” nazi. wtf how annoying. i warned him of the privacy dangers of hooking up with a blogger the first night he boned me on kp’s balcony.) still, i think it will be okay because he seems almost PROUD of this sick little fetish. upon the second time on our roadtrip “i keep forgetting (every time you’re near)” by michael mcdonald came on his ipod, i shot him a smile and he said “what? it’s a good song.” with utter confidence. hot.

i’m writing this blog because i feel like everyone has probably been thinking “i wonder what amanda-faye has been listening to lately, music-wise. i’m really just so curious…” WELL, here goes:

britney

okay, duh, no one these days can even legally have a blog without discussing her, but i am here to talk about the MUSIC. britney, britney, why? you have gone about this “crazy album” thing all wrong! the “crazy” album is supposed to be an album of rebellion and freedom, of you saying FUCK YOU to the industry and all Britbefaft_4of it’s constraints, thereby selling very few records, but earning the respect of one of the subcultures and/or australia (i love you, australia!). blackout could have really been your underdog hipster breakout album had you handled this correctly. let me just say, i tend to run with a pretty hip crowd (haha) and i have not been to one single party or club in the last several months that has not played “gimme more,” often multiple times! and since “piece of me” came out the story is similar, yet no one is really saying much about it. i think this is because brit has not attempted to milk this aspect. by god britney, this was your chance to build your non-mainstream gay fanbase and you FAILED! seriously, i have listened to all of the blackout clips and the album as a whole is AWFUL, but i would probably dance to any of the songs if they came on in a club. i can see why/how they could have become huge underground club hits. as for her actions, the hip gays don’t really give a shit about her kids or her using drugs, and shaving her head = awesome. she should have just rolled with it. the key to semi-longevity and semi-fan loyalty in this scene would be britney making any kind of effort to back the album, even in a rebellious and hilarious way. for example, instead of having her body photoshopped to be thinner in the “piece of me” video, she should have had something funny photoshopped onto her body… like, a dinosaur body, or maybe have her body be slowly and gorily falling apart a la that weird robbie williams music video that was banned by mtv in the u.s. but huge in europe. she could have become “indie” britney, just like kylie minogue crossed over to “indie” kylie with her album “impossible princess” which bombed in the uk, but was a huge success in her native australia, where the single “did it again” was even played on rock radio as well as to her typical top 40 audience.

omg, could i BE any gayer.

Kyliexanyways, speaking of kylie, her new album is out in the uk, but it doesn’t come out here until next month! i have only heard two of the songs, but i love them both! “2 hearts” and “wow” are both so fucking catchy and the “2 hearts” video is FIERCE! i can’t decide if i should buy the album on import or wait and see if the us version has additional tracks.

for my next item: alicia keys’ “no one”

okay, this song was good at first, but now i am starting to hate it. it takes a lot for me to get sick of a song, but the mainstream radio is apparently doing everything it takes to best my tolerance. i propose that they Chrisbrownjv10simply make an entire station that only plays that song and nothing else, that way whenever i get a hankering for it i can just tune in, leaving me at peace with chris brown’s “kiss kiss” on rotation six-times-an-hour on all the other stations. oh, chris, why is our love so forbidden???

paramore

don’t even get me started on their music, the name of this band fills me with uncontrollable rage! i have accepted long ago that while i am super-down with pure pop and hip-pop, i am way too old for pop rock. i grew up on the likes of paula abdul and bel biv devoe, but when i came into my own, the rock i listened to was bikini kill, bratmobile, and sleater-kinney, bands that actually rocked something, women who talked about things other than their boyfriends. okay, MAYBE i’m to old for that stuff too, but i just don’t understand the shit they play on “alternative” radio these days… there was a time when you tuned in to KROQ (local l.a. rock station) to get away from the bs on top 40 stations, and now they play the exact same rock bands, except i can’t hear chris brown’s “kiss kiss” on KROQ (*blows a kiss to chris* so young… so forbidden… so not gay enough for me.) the thing about paramore that disappoints me is that i actually probably would give it a secret guilty-pleasure listen because i am a sucker for female-fronted bands, and their song “misery business” is catchy as hell, damnit, but they had to go and spell their name that way! it’s PARAMOUR you bastards! yes, i have researched it, yes, i know they spelled it that way in the beginning because it was an (ex) bandmember’s last name before they realized the meaning of the homophone “paramour” (illicit lover), but still, i feel that since they were still a new band they should have felt bound by COMMON DECENCY to spell the word “paramour.” by god, what are we teaching our children? this irresponsible spelling of band names combined with text slang and internet speak… the world is coming to an end. fo shiz.

kate bush

i have been listening to a lot of kate bush’s album “the hounds of love.” that’s all i have to say about that, really. she’s a nut, but i’m into it. before i ever heard her i would get really defensive when people accused tori amos of stealing her steez (and i’m pretty sure around that time i also referred to tori amos as “the goddess tori.” what? don’t pretend you were never sixteen!), but now i realize that early tori seems to have been heavily kate-influenced, which is not a bad thing. they both rule.

joe and i have decided i need to buy a tori amos t-shirt on ebay and wear the shit out of it all over town. Amos5how funny/cool would that be? so funny/cool. haha. i’m in the process of finding the perfect one, though, i have specific ideas. i really want one with the pic on the right. vintage 90s tori. so hot. it has inspired me to start growing out my hair and wear it huge and frizzy… well, actually the weather in portland inspired that, but it is what it is.

oh, by the way, i also listen to a lot of “really cool” indie music and bands you probs never heard of. i swear!

what? i swear!

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change is bood. (gad?)

October 1, 2007 me news

it’s not that i HATE change. it’s just that i hate not being able to control it and every other aspect of the universe, as long as i’m at it. i don’t like not being able to to make myself feel the exact same way i did at any given time, or have things be the exact same way.

for example, the radio station in l.a. Movin’ 93.9, has changed it’s format after only a few months on the Nice1air. WTF??? okay, it’s not radically different, but the tagline used to be “the mix that makes you move” and now it’s “the 70s and 80s mix that makes you move.” this means that, while you can still hear such 80s classics as nice and wild’s “diamond girl,” you will not be hearing any current dance hits, or even any from the 90s. what it also means is that you will hear a shit ton of disco. this is fine if you crash weddings just to hear kool and the gang sing “celebration” or are my mother. if you are anything like me, though, it makes you very sad and depressed because you fucking hate disco.

i dunno, i was going to maybe start an angry letter-writing campaign, but my past angry letter-writing campaigns have all been imaginary, and therefore not very effective. see: the giant misogynistic american apparel billboard on sunset above burrito king. look, i like ass to the point that it is nearly criminal, but that ad is just ridiculous. i report this injustice to you, of course, from beneath the cradling fibers of solid black american apparel super-low v-neck. damn damn!

Janemagcoveranother change i am lamenting is the loss of jane magazine. i know this is old news, but it’s really just barely starting to sink in. maybe it’s because i am moving back into my old room and realizing that i have PILES AND PILES of old jane mags, as i refuse to throw away anything flammable. i really enjoyed jane because it was super-girly. but with a feminist edge. bust is good too, but it’s not the same. firstly, there isn’t enough makeup in it, and secondly, they seem like they are trying so hard to be liberating to women that they have actually taken things way too far. they talk about penises too much, and how to get one in your mouth and fast, “because you CAN and it’s OKAY to be a feminist and a slut.” i agree, but i don’t need to hear about it that much. plus, i don’t like penises. well, not the kind you can’t sanitize by boiling anyway.

to be honest, the real reason i was extra-bummed at jane’s passing was because i guess i always imagined there would be an article about me in there someday. no, not the cover, but a modest, yet illuminating interview piece. it would feature a picture of me, probably sitting on some stairs, smiling wryly with the side of my face resting in my hand. the subtitle would be “this ‘Failure Princess’ is a real success” and it would be HILARIOUS. oh well. another dream washed away by the cruel tides of time. what are you gonna do?

I KNOW! quit your job with no alternate plan in mind! well, that’s what i did anyway, and i feel GREAT. sure, i am totally fucked financially, but you know, i am tired of sitting around and waiting for something good to happen in my career. i’m going to go out and grab it. i don’t care if i end up writing ebay descriptions for a living, i am going to write professionally. it’s my time to shine, i just know it. well, i actually have no idea, but that’s what i have been told by astrologyzone.com, the psychic that lives with my friend ajai, and most importantly, j, who is totally not blinded by love or breasts.

and so it begins. my search for a job on craigslist, thoughts of going to school, technically living at my mother’s house (don’t tell her, but i am really not living here at all)… all of it. and yet, i am unafraid. some might say this is because i am foolish and spoiled, but i think it’s because this time i am armed with something i have never had before. well, a couple of things.

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fergalicious/handjobs

May 23, 2007 consume, reviews, uncategorized, work

Ferg_6 okay, so, i have a few things on my mind. the first is obviously fergie of the black eyed peas and solo fame. i say “obviously” because it is so not obvious. as you all know, i hate fergie… or so i THOUGHT. upon careful consideration i realized that i actually enjoy fergie, the woman. she seems like a real kick. i just hate her music. but wait, why do i LOVE the song “glamorous”? it is just so good. so bad it’s good! it might have something to do with it playing 500,000,000 times while molly and sarah were here, but for some reason i really enjoy it. i always sing along to it and accidentally sing “g-l-a-m-o-U…” and then feel like an idiot because everyone in the club must think i can’t spell. not so! i just spell glamourous the british way. duh.

anyways, i am also thoroughly enjoying the new radio station in l.a. called movin 93.9. it rules. where else can i listen to both 50 cent and lionel ritchie? seriously, the other day they played that lionel song “all night long” and i thought to myself “i should change this. this is wrong…. but i want to hear it…” and it was just a real pickle to be in. then i realized that it was okay to listen to it because it was playing on the station i was ALREADY listening to. thank god. fiesta forever!

in other news, i have decided to re-embark on my starvation diet. this diet, to remind you, includes mainly slim fast, cigarettes, ice chips, and shame. so i was at target and i decided to buy a twelve pack of slim fast optima and also a twelve pack of target brand ultimate diet shake and do a taste test showdown, as the target brand is a whopping $2 cheaper than the name brand. the only problem was i bought the slim fast in chocolate and the target brand in vanilla. so really, the taste test is compromised. i will tell you that the sf brand is 100 times thicker than the target brand, which is basically vanilla water (yum), and therefore is probably way more filling. i can’t tell you for sure yet at this time though, because i washed down my first round of diet shakes with thai noodles.

what i can tell you for certain, however, is that target brand “compare to playtex” tampons do NOT Thumb_ggmultipack38046 compare to playtex. i buy playtex tampons because as they absorb moisture, they open all the way around, like a gentle flower. other brands, such as tampax, get longer and fatter. this creates a situation in which you know to change your tampon because it begins to actually emerge from your pussy. now, maybe i have a shallow vagina or something, but in general i find this to be fairly vexatious. well friends, just fyi, the target brand “playtex” tampons do that too. they are not like playtex at all, not at all!

well, that’s about all i have to say re: consumer affairs. i was beginning to worry that my poverty was turning me into a butch because i am so poor that looking at the sephora catalog didn’t even give me half a boner, but now i have spent a good half a paragraph talking about my va-jay-jay, so i feel whole again. plus the whole catalog is practically about bronzer and i have already found my fav bronzer (NARS laguna, if you will recall) and i dunno why everyone is so obsessed with being tan anyway.

it is nearly five a.m. and i have a job interview tomorrow. i have decided that i don’t think i can keep my job at Buffalo Kitchen because it is nipping away at the last few drops of my dignity. i am not a proud person (obviously) but i don’t like feeling stupid and i think everyone at Buffalo Kitchen thinks i am some kind of idiot because i refuse to learn how and where to seat the “guests.” the harsh truth is that i simply don’t care. i am sorry, i simply do not care! if you ask me, the servers should be standing at the host stand, gnashing their teeth at one another to get those “guests” and the tips they hold within their wallets. instead, they get mad every time i seat someone in their section. hostess, indeed! my idea of being a true hostess would include at least giving a hand job, and a tip for ME. seriously, i would take more pride in that.

so there you have it. not only do i like a fergie song, but i am chubby, have a tiny ‘gina, and would totally give $10 hand jobs.

okay, so why do i love myself more than EVER right now?

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