alright alright, some of you are not going to be very happy with this post, but bear with me, and i promise you very soon i will post something either about getting reamed with a huge silicone cock or crying hot, bitter tears into my vodka soda, whatever floats your boat. i am also working (really hard) on my condom story, so stay tuned.

on to business: my valentine’s day gifts! joe and i did i wonderful job of gifting. i know that presents are not the most important thing in the world (HAHA), but when someone gives you a gift that is just so absolutely you, or remembers something you said you liked, it just makes you feel very loved. well, when joe took me to my first gift, i felt more than love. i also felt sheer panic. you see, he took me to sephora, set me loose in the store, and told me to pick out whatever i wanted, within reason. i swear, i almost passed out just then! i wandered aimlessly around the store, then finally had to beg him for help because we were on a time constraint due to our dinner date, and everyone knows i have never actually been inside a sephora for less an hour and a half unless i am making a return. luckily, joe was paying attention and knew exactly what to tell me to buy. i got the new escada seasonal fragrance, “moon sparkle”, which is insanely fruityliscious and a must of you’re into that sort of thing. it’s very close to the one from a few years ago called “ibiza hippie” (bad name, awesome scent. if you ever see an old bottle of this, buy it for me!). the fragrances that come out each year all have similar notes, but some of them, like the last one, “pacific paradise”, have this powdery dry-down that i am not fond of. “moon sparkle” is pure, sparkling berries, but also has musk and sandalwood notes, making it a little richer and more womanly than past escada scents, which also makes it perfect for all seasons! in keeping with the dark and sexy theme, i also got a NARS lipgloss in the shade “revolt.” it looks kind of scary-chola purple in the tube (although i love that look), but because the gloss inside is completely sheer, it really just glazes the lips in a deep grape. i like it a lot, but i love all of NARS’ sheer glosses because they are extra sticky-shiny and for that reason have staying power. plus, i have to love a company that still makes true, bold colors and doesn’t put frost and glitter in every single thing. i’m looking at you, MAC. shape up! i haven’t seen it in person, but based on my online peeking and other’s reviews, the fafi for MAC line looks very blah.

after that, joe took me out to dinner at a secret location. i had no idea where we were going to go until we pulled up. somehow he remembered that i once said, as we drove by, that i had always wanted to eat at clancy’s crab boiler! it was the perfect date. i drank a chi chi (pina colada made with vodka instead of rum. delicious, but embarrassing to order if you grew up mexican and to you chichis are BOOBS!) and ate shrimp and filet mignon. really, it was so perfect and fab. joe and i are perfect for one another because we both like things that are kind of crappy, but also great. we both have good taste, but like things that are kind of divey and hilarious. i hearted him extra after that, but the gifts didn’t end! when we got back to the house i got a wonderful card he made in printing class and the pièce de résistance: this pin! i saw it a while ago and fell in love with it even though i am not much of a dog person, let alone scottie dogs, but it is SO HILARIOUS. it is a double pin, with one part being one huge gold scottie dog and the other two smaller gold scottie dogs, CONNECTED WITH CHAINS DANGLING TWO MORE TINY SCOTTIE DOGS. so fucking fierce! i can’t believe he went back and bought it for me. so sweet!

in case you are wondering what i got him, i will tell you. it might sound kind of or not at all strange, but joe is really into skulls right now, so i went to necromance on melrose, which is actually a really rad store, and bought him a coyote skull. he was totally pleasantly surprised because i was sort of anti about the animal skull thing for a while, but the lady in necromance was really cool and she assured me that the animals weren’t killed just for their bones and she also said that the coyote was the best seller (wtf?) so i did some research on him and he seemed like a pretty cool spirit animal. joe loved it and said i was the best girlfriend ever, so all in all, it was a success!

i guess that’s all i have to say about that. i really need to make a “romance/barf” tag for these types of entries, but i have about 12 tags and i am way too lazy to make new ones. in fact, i have also been thinking about making a a “gay” tag, but since i am a flaming queen, pretty much all of my posts are gay.

and speaking of the gays, i am sooo excited to watch tonight’s episode of “project runway.” it’s the recap episode, which would normally annoy me, but there was so little drama this season, and i can’t get enough pure tim gunn. sweet raging crap, i need a guy like him in my life! what ever happened to the genteel gay man? i’m all about the perverts, the bears, and the twinks (you know this), but i long to meet an older, refined gentleman who will drink tea and go shopping with me.

as for someone to party with, i would love to hang out with christian siriano. i am basically the female version of him without the self-confidence, and i do love him so. he is so amazing, i really hope he wins the show! here is a strangely long, obsessive fan video with some of his fiercest moments. it’s worth the length though for some of those golden moments of his this season. my personal fav is “i am not feeling fierce right now.” hahahaha. television gold.