Archive for clothings

nineteen-blindy-nine

August 1, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, culture

i am dying. i just chatted with amy next top mess for like, three hours and we both have the same problem where we are like, sooo tired in the early eve then UP late.

i was seriously up SO LATE last night and then awakened (however pleasantly) super early plus my whole body is sore and i am covered in hickies and bruises to the degree where i honestly feel like i fell down a flight of stairs. i mean, you know, multiple orgasm stairs, but still. anyways, then i had to work today and it sucked and then i was just running around all busy-headed as usual AND THEN i ate spaghetti-o’s (don’t ask) and passed the fuck out for twenty minutes while doing laundry at ajai/tina’s. now i’m here on my last night of house sitting with this little kitty that bites, stressing out because i semi-blacked out on friday night and remember very little except the great “pronunciation of Huntington Beach” argument i was having with some OC locals (which, btw, IS “hun-ting-ton,” technically, as i was arguing. jesus!), spent way too much money this weekend and won’t get paid again until two weeks from today because of this wacky pay period, desperately need a pedicure, and really wish i didn’t have to have a day job.

my job is soooo not a big deal (yet, anyway, i have more training/responsibilities on the way) but look what time it is… i just wish i didn’t have to go to work in the morning. how in gods name am i going to get hired as a General Wit? who is going to create that position and pay me for it? someone who went to college, probably! damnit.

i dunno, though, maybe that’s not the job for me. i keep thinking of clever ideas for stuff and then forgetting them almost immediately. i haven’t even been drinking that much lately (except weds, thurs, friday, saturday, and monday). whatever, i swear, except friday which was a horrible misstep, i have been doing alright-ish. i wasn’t nearly as hammered as everyone else on saturday. of course, that might be because i stuffed my face with every one of the at least four varieties of couscous salads available at that bbq i went to. lesbians heart steamed grain medleys, apparently.

1990s_14i officially hate the nineties. i know a lot of people hate the nineties because they had so little character and a bunch of dumb stuff happened and kurt cobain died, blah blah blah, but honestly, i find nineties fashion downright offensive. not just because it was hideous, because anyone could make that assessment and be utterly spot-on, but because of the lasting scar it has left on those who were in their late teens and early twenties in the early-mid nineties. now, before my (four) thirty-something friends call me in anger, there are obvious exceptions to this rule. my friend vanessa (of curl girls, lol, let the google hits begin) is one of the most stylish dressers i know. all i’m saying is that for the most part, it seems like a lot of those of that age have never quite been able to escape the specter of that era of fashion. how many times, HOW MANY TIMES have a seen a woman in this age bracket dressed in perfectly semi-acceptable clothing only to look down and spy a pair of 90s chunky heels? seriously, i don’t know why anyone would be that mean to anyone else’s eyes, but it seems that things were just like that in the 90s. i mean, i was there too, i wore many of those fashions, but luckily, as a young teen, i was able to get it out of my system. plus by the late 90s, i had joined the early guard of 80s nostalgists who would come to lay ruin to the fashion creativity of the teens of the mid-late 00s. it is difficult being admired and immitated, but it is honorable. well, kind of.

so, my point, and i do have one, is that this is all very depressing. is this what getting old(er) is all about? being really fucking cool in high school, at the height of fashion, the hottest contempo casuals teen around, then ending up in a tie-back, floral shirt and sketchers drinking beers at a bar in downtown wherever the fuck? or ending up in shitty sunglasses online-dating girls who practice modern day wicca or believe in faeries and talking about how it’s called hair “product” now with your buddies? being stuck in the fashion glory of your high school years and therefore in the same place socially/culturally as well?

where is that going to leave me? not only was i not cool in school enough to be a hip girl, but i wasn’t even Breakfastclubcool enough to be a frowned-upon bad-girl outcast. if we were in “the breakfast club,” i would definitely be ally sheedy, and not because she is the hot gay-looking one who lies a lot, but because she was a fucking mess no one really noticed. okay, that was a LIE, i was really popular in high school, but i did dress like her character in that movie kind of. omg, i am totally going to start wearing more greys and browns again!

wait, what were we talking about?

4 comments

fashion, fags, and full lips

May 28, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, el sexo, rare moments of optimism

i decided that since this is a holiday weekend i could take some time off and not write anything. the trouble is i am grumpy and restless, which makes me want to write. that, and after friday night at akbar i have decided that i am boycotting holiday weekends from this day forward.

we all know going out on the weekends in l.a. is risky biz because of the hideous weekend warriors, but akbar has come to be my solace from that. pretty much the same people go there every weekend, they are all gay, and i am usually too wasted and dancing with my friends so i don’t care anyway. but my god, my god, friday night was a cruel, eye-opening journey into the reality of most bars on any given weekend… in the valley. i don’t know what was going on, but everyone except our group looked terrible. there were more straight people there than ever and none of them looked like they were from anywhere around here. there were girls in ill-fitting, light wash flared jeans, printed tunics, and bad highlights as far as the eye could see. i even spied a crocheted shawl in the crowd. all that and i was SOBER. it was all i could do to keep from openly weeping on the dance floor. never again, i swear.

okay, just for the sensitive folks, i want to make it clear that i have nothing against straight people. i’m just saying that when i go to a gay (man) bar, i expect to be surrounded by well-dressed fags, a smattering of hags, and a handful or two of lesbians. on that note, the gspot (gauntlet/eagle) wednesday girl nights are seemingly in danger of being overrun by men. this is irritating, and borderline offensive. those guys get that bar all week, why do they have to show up on our night, hog both restrooms, and touch us inappropriately thinking it’s okay because they are gay? gross. i don’t know who to complain to, but i am going to complain.

as i mentioned earlier, i am extremely on edge right now. i feel like this has mostly to do with the fact that i hate my shitty job, am exhausted all the time, have no money to pay my rent, and… well, there is some other stuff.

BUT, the good news is, i have good news. i am holding off on reporting it until i can get all the facts straight, but let me just tell you, things are looking up.

i just wish i could have a bunch of money RIGHT now. it makes me sad that i am still going to have to wait god knows how long before i can afford plastic surgery. omg, i just spent, like, an hour online researching procedures. i think my last few scraps of self-acceptance have finally melted away. at this point pretty much the only surgery i don’t want is labiaplasty. this makes no sense to me. i have researched it a bit and am still so skeptical. the link i posted has a bunch of before and after pics, but they just aren’t very convincing. only a few of the women look even remotely abnormal, if one can say that at all. the website says some women have to get it because their large labia minora interfere with sexual intercourse… okay, fine, maybe. but it also says they can interfere with the comfort of wearing tight pants. the simple solution to that, if you ask me, is this wonderful, magic helper we like to call underpants. the main point that particular website seems to be driving home, though, is the utter EMBARRASSMENT of large or uneven labia minora or large labia majora.

look people, i am going to be straight with you right here and now, i have “healthy” sized labia majora and uneven labia minora and i have no problem with it what-so-ever. in fact, i have been told on multiple occations by more than a few people (okay, more like exactly a few) that i have a fantastic pussy. i don’t hate on girls with tiny or no outer lips, but i have never thought that looked “normal” per se. in fact, i think it looks a little goofy, especially when they shave off all the hair. furthermore, i have had the “uneven” inner lips conversation with countless friends of mine, and i don’t think one single girl has said she doesn’t have one side larger than the other. my right side is slightly larger, and i will have you know, that little piece of skin is extra-sensitive and loves attention, a matter upon which no one has ever complained. ever.

and so it is in closing that i would like to say we must be thankful for life’s small blessings. today i am thankful for the fact that i have happened upon one part of my body i wouldn’t sell a kidney to afford to have surgically altered. well, that and the invention of dark denim. what kind of jeans did fashionable people wear at night before dark denim? i hope to never find out, i honestly don’t want to know!

One comment

old clothes, new cokes

May 16, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, consume

as a woman whose main talents include picking up things with my toes, thrift store shopping, and writing clever myspace comments, you can understand that i will jump at any opportunity to use one of said talents to prove myself useful.

today was no exception. i went on a rare solo expedition to st. vincent de paul thrift store which is, in the words of my reality t.v. co-star, the costco of thrift stores. it is huge and daunting and if you go on the wrong day, picked over by ravenous hipsters. i don’t like going there by myself because there are no changing rooms and i like to have someone around to spot me while i try on clothes. the last thing you want to do is flash some poor, old, mexican grandma your thong. i mean, i hope it is, perv.

anyway, this was the best thrifting day i have had in a while! i found so many good things, including tops and usually i have bad luck with tops. i have a keen eye and sense for a good thrifting find, and love the thrill of the hunt. i have been starting to worry that i am getting old and losing my mojo, but today i proved that no nineteen year-old hip chickie is any match for me, as they ogled me and my finds in line to pay. what a rush! also, as luck would have it, over 90% of the stuff i happened to pick out was half-off ticket items of the week. what a day. i felt like clicking my heels as i walked out of that place.

i sure wish my camera wasn’t still battery-free so i could post some pics. i will later though, i promise.

OMG, one other thing, i am so so so excited about new diet coke plus vitamins and minerals. i’m not making that up, it’s real. it’s new. i need to have it. i am basically addicted to diet coke, like, crackhead style, and this is going to enrich my life in ways untold! i am hoping the vitamins and minerals will negate the carcinogens in the aspartame.

now when oh when will they figure out how to cram the powerful antioxidant benefits of the pomegranate into parliament lights….

One comment

notes on a sandal

March 5, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings

will someone PLEASE explain sandals to me? this is a fashion mystery that has plagued me since the dawn of time (er, i mean, the mid-eighties). i get it… feet need to breathe, and we all love to show off a good pedi, but other than flip-flops, most sandals make no sense to me.

let’s review:

Plainflipflops400 first, we have the classic chanclas, or flip-flops. what do you think? i think these are comfortable and in many citcumstances, absolutely necessary. i remember when i was in high school coming into my own fashion-wise, i was confused because even though i thought i was hardcore and stylish, i still loved rocking the chanclas. i would wear my red spandex skirt, studded belt, and a hanes white t-shirt with a pair of flip-flops. i knew it wasn’t quite right, but i didn’t care. i assumed it was a california thing or maybe because i went to hippie schools early on and hated wearing shoes at all. so anyway, at that time i was hanging out with a bunch of kids who didn’t believe in wearing sandals, so i was torn. then, one summer all of the boys started wearing flip-flops. it was as if they had a beautiful revelation. you don’t have to be a frat boy to wear flip-flops, and in fact they look great with brown slacks and vintage t’s.

my favorite pair was always these ones from the seventies that had thick straps that were three colors, orange, yellow, and red, and a thick black sole with a white center that made it look like an ice-cream sandwich. yum. this brings us to our second question: platform flip-flops? Lilac_crystal_mini the answer is simple. the answer is NO. why won’t these totally go away? i don’t understand the constant desire people have to mess with a simple thing. pink camo? no. high-heeled timbaland boots? no. do you guys remember those hairbrushes from the early 90s with a spray bottle built into the handle? well, to that, i say YES! but that is a different subject. the year that uggs were first out and all over the place even during the summer, i had a brilliant plan to buy a cheap knockoff pair and cut them into sandals and wear my “UGG-flops” around town so that everyone in l.a. could see how ridiculous they were being, but i was too lazy to do it. maybe this year, since the trend refuses to die quietly. yes, i know they are comfy, no i don’t care.

Hikingsandal what about hiking sandals? okay, these are just an abomination. ever since i was a small child in hippie school and saw my first pair of these, i wondered what i did wrong for god to do this to my eyes. these are like the obnoxious cousin that the 250pxbirkenstocksbirkenstock will never introduce to his girlfriend. not cool. when i was in third grade, my mom bought me my first pair of “birks.” she bought a bunch of different styles and colors and insisted that i wear them. every kid at school mocked me incessantly. this was during my infamous two-year stint in public school on the hard streets of north san gabriel, so you can imagine… alright, it wasn’t that bad, but i was also fat and wore glasses, so it was just an unwelcome addition to my torment. okay, fast forward two years later when EVERY SINGLE kid in school had a pair. ugh. and i couldn’t even gloat because by then i had changed schools. still, i don’t love birkenstocks. they remind me of my mom, but she looks cute in them.

okay, so i think we can conclude that when it comes to sandals, simple is best. when you google the word “sandals,” well, the carribean resort comes up, but then you go to images and you see probably the most hideous pics ever. last summer i could not find anything i really liked. i liked some of the grecian styles, but most were over-priced and i liked the mexican ones (huaraches), but i saw those in the stupid urban outfitters catalogue and that kind of killed it.

this year i am just going to rock these, all summer long! 65799_large_1

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punk as fuck

February 27, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, culture

on saturday night i was walking into a warehouse party in downtown l.a. with cheryl. we walked by some girls who were walking out and overheard one of them on the phone saying “um, we were just at this like, punk/skater party…” and we chuckled because we have been to that warehouse many times and know the guy who lives there. his friends are skaters, but most of his parties have been more of like “hipster” parties than punk, and these girls looked really young and kind of neo-goth, so we assumed they just had no idea what they were talking about,

well, we were mistaken my friends! this party WAS a punk party. the bands that were playing were punk bands (i guess, i don’t really know what that fucking means. it was loud and fast and the kids were a-moshin’) and the kids there were mostly “punks” with a few hipsters and the ever popular punksters (pipsters? hunks?). now, when i say “kids,” i’m not just being condescending here. most of them could not have been over 21-22 and a lot of them looked like they could have been 17-19. it’s hard for me to tell now because my eyes are so old. when i look in the mirror i think i look about 14 years old, so who knows.

anyway, i was checking these kids out and thinking, man, things are too easy for them. in my day, if you wanted to find anything cool to wear, you had to scour the alhambra salvation army, risking life and limb and the possibility of touching old man urine. with no dressing room. nowForever21_dress these girls just march right down to forever 21, pick out something with stripes and some flimsy aviator shades and call it a day. of course, i’m not saying in some ways that’s not progress. i don’t have a problem with the masses dressing better, in general. it’s just that when things look like watered-down versions of things that might be cool, i find it irksome. it’s not that it doesn’t look good, it just could look better.

i don’t know, it’s hard to explain. for me, fashion is a constant balance between looking effortless and discriminating. my thought process would be “okay, stripes, i like. shirt dress, check. the gathered front, very cute and sexy. but wait, something is wrong. does it look cheap? i mean, i like cheap, but will it make me look cheap? as if i put no effort into this, as if i bought it off a beach-bum in venice?” and the answer would be yes. even cute boots could not help this dress. it looks too mass-produced. i would not like everyone to know where i got my clothes. not that everything has to one of a kind, but it should ideally look like it might be. unless you actually are going to the beach. or to bed.

plus, like i said, i know nothing really about punk, but i know this is not punk. the reason i am targeting the girls is not because i’m being catty, but because it seems that even among the young kids, hipsters and punks alike, the boys seem to get it right more easily. i mean, i have seen some pretty scary outfits on the hipster boys, but the amount of them who are dressing well seems to outnumber the girls. and it is no different with the punks. the boys keep it real with skinny jeans and a hoodie, but the girls are wearing the above dress. again, not dissing the dress, just the sentiment. it was weird seeing what looked like a huge pack of mall-girls in the smoky, sweaty, punk music-blasting warehouse. and the accessories… and shoes… i am an old fart. my heyday has passed, i suppose. there was a time when i would literally not be caught dead in Forever 21 and i would only enter Urban Outfitters in an elaborate disguise. now, my favorite jeans are F21 and my favorite lampshade is from U.O. but that’s just cause i am poor.

Hot_topic_bag

NOT punk just because it is cheap and “distressed”.

Dior_bag_1

actually almost MORE punk b/c it is subversively expensive.

Cvs_bag

punk as fuck.

One comment

won’t you take me to… shoppingtown?

February 20, 2007 Amanda-Faye beauty, clothings, reviews

B000666bvu01a1e5xtdsav2esc_scmzzzzzzz_ i have more lip gloss than god. this is true, even if god is a drag queen, as i sincerely hope. i always get really excited at bright pinks and reds, but really it’s nudes that look the best, if you know how to pick them. my favorite is stila banana lip glaze because it is the perfect shade of beige, the perfect opacity to show up but not look chalky, nice and sticky-shiny, and smells like delicious ba-nay-nays. plus you can put it on with one hand if you got the skills, due to the click-pen dispenser. i used to get really worried that i bought way too many beigey lipsticks and lipglosses and i’d say to emily when we went makeup shopping, “em, do not let me buy any nudes!” in turn, i wasn’t supposed to let her buy any more green eyeshadows, but it never worked cause we are both enablers.

well, now i think nude lipglosses are like nipple hickeys: you can never really have too many, and even if you do, very few people will know the difference. hold on, did that make sense?

anyways, today i went to H&M in two different cities. it was kind of embarrassing, except only to me. first i went with cheryl to the one in pasadena after we had lunch. i was only slightly paying attention because i am broke, but the clothes looked okay. then, i went with jenny to the one in the santa anita mall, no, i mean, the “Westfield Shoppingtown Santa Anita.” i can’t get used to calling it that. you’d think i B00000055m01lzzzzzzz
would go crazy over something called a “shoppingtown” but i find it unsettling. anyway, most of the clothes except the basics at that H&M sucked and the jeans were lame. plus the music made me upset. i just don’t understand that screamo-pop crap. i am no music snob, but i just can’t listen to that. it doesn’t make me want to buy stuff, either. if i think a top is sort of cute, my mind would definitely be more swayed to purchase it if the store was blasting, say, “bump & grind” by r. kelly. it would make me feel sexy and the lyrics would creep into my thoughts. “i don’t see nothin’ wrrrong, with usin’ my credit caaard…” see?

god, i am so starting a diet this week. my birthday is in six days, and i am going to lose at least three pounds. good thing there are three tin troughs of louise’s pasta and bread in my fridge left over from our family party on sunday. sweet.

oh, by the way, i figured out the secret of why this birthday feels so right. my birthday is on the 26th, and i am turning twenty-six! that only happens once in a lifetime. how exciting. i’m going to celebrate by nearly starving myself in the days before my birthday party, then drinking way too much on an empty stomach at said party, and puking a little on my pillow! wait, no, that’s what i did last year. better think of something new and different. i’ll be hard pressed to top that, but i have to try, right?

5 comments

twenty-sssexy

February 16, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, culture, rare moments of optimism

my new favorite person ever is amy winehouse. her voice is really amazing Amywinehouse_1and she is a british tabloid fave. i’m not sure if i am going to like her whole cd when it comes out in the u.s., but i love the song “rehab.” also, her hair is fun. her style is a little questionable, it’s true, but she gets a pass for being english and for being so badass. life isn’t fair, is it?

Th_t in other news, my babydaddy, T.I., won a grammy for best solo rap performance with “what you know” and another one for “my love” with justin. nice work. why won’t T.I. ever love me? i know what you are thinking “but amanda-faye, many of your previous posts have led us to believe that you are a raging lezzer! what gives?” well, dear reader, yes, i love the ladies, but i also love gorgeous black men, preferably of the hip-hop persuasion. the heart wants what it wants, and mine wants adult women that look kind of like young boys, but it also wants rappers. what you know about that?

haha, a couple of years ago, i went to NYC with my famfam. my cousin miranda and i had this inside joke about al roker being my babydaddy and then the truth came out that conan o’brien is my babydaddy. so that year for my birthday she made me this awesome t-shirt with a sharpie that said “Conan O’Brien…” on the front and “My Babydaddy” on the back. the font and crescent moon logo design were an almost flawless reproduction. well done. but then i went and cut off the collar, which was the style of the time (damn you, official eighties revival!) and ruined it. this is because no matter what the trend is, it never looks good on me. that’s the real reason why i am such a fashion trailblazer. i would be a follower if i could, but i can’t. when i wear a deconstructed tee, it doesn’t look cool or edgy, it looks like i recently transformed into the incredible hulk then changed back and didn’t have time to go home and put on a new shirt. sad.

3546727001 so you see, it might be okay for girls to wear lederhosen in the year 2007, but you won’t catch me in them. i will be sticking to my granny dresses with obscene amounts of cleavage. the classics. in exactly 10 days, i am going to be 26 years-old. since i turned 18, my annual tradition around this time has been to drink a whole bottle of wine (okay, fine, it was boone’s farm for the first few years there) and soak the pages of my journal in bitter tears. but this year, i don’t feel so bad. why is this? this is the oldest i have ever been and lord knows my fear of aging has not subsided. i think maybe the terror of turning 25 was so great, and 27 looms ahead so ominously, that 26 is some kind of safety zone. okay, good news. this is going to be a good year.

“how old are you, amanda-faye”

“me? oh, i’m twenty-sssexy.”

nice. sad. nice!

4 comments

g-strings, feelings

February 9, 2007 Amanda-Faye clothings, reviews

normally i’m not one to flash my panties (hahahahahahaha! whew! funny), but on a recent trip to nordstrom i made a couple of intimate purchases i simply must share! you see, i needed some new underwear because my ex has a bunch of mine in a big sack that she wants me to pick up off her porch, which i am obviously not going to do! i may be the kind of girl that leaves my undies behind, but i do have standards. so despite being broke, i fired up the old nordies card and went for it.

Wip007_zii bought a couple of pairs that were just senseless and lacy, but i also bought a couple of the DKNY classic low-rise thongs (which are technically g-strings). sweet jesus, these are amazing! it feels like you are wearing nothing at all! this may be due to the fact that it is literally a triangle with some miscellaneous strings, but still. very comfy. then i decided to stay on the comfort train and go for _5037791the felina ultra-soft thong. okay, i know both of these pics are really boring, but i obviously didn’t buy these colors! duh, i got hot pink. i don’t believe in white underwear, and one time i tried to wear a flesh-colored thong under a sheer dress and my old roomate nicole informed me that my ass is so damn white, i’d be better off wearing white anyway. so basically i stick with black and fruity colors. anyway, the felina is the most comfortable pair of underwear i have ever worn. this includes granny panties, seriously. it feels like you are wearing a cloud. a glorious, pink cloud that bisects your ass cheeks. i generally stay away from underpants that aren’t thongs, g-strings or boy shorts. no briefs for me. my ass eats them anyway, might as well cut to the chase. i do like boy shorts though, because they make you feel so sassy. i also don’t fool around with panties (i hate that word, but it becomes necessary at times) that are overly complicated. i have this one pair that has these strings down the two sides that you are supposed to tie to ruche the sides sexily. um, yeah right, i just let them hang and the last time i wore them, the strings totally kept escaping my jeans. screw you calvin klein intimates!

p.s. i ended up having to splurge on the wax because the one place i was gonna go was closed. so i went to raya spa and saw lily. i had her the first time i ever went there a year ago, and i remember thinking she was a little timid, but this time she totally got down to business. i’d dare to say this is the best bikini wax i have ever had. wow, great new wax, great new underwear… i better make sure i waste this feeling on doubting myself and being alone. ha.

anyhoo, i have a ton of shit on my mind. depressing stuff like fear, loneliness, death, etc etc etc.

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learnings, leanings, lashes

January 24, 2007 Amanda-Faye beauty, clothings, culture, reviews

the most important thing i have learned since i started taking that class at UCLA is that there definitely are fundamental differences between people that went to college and people that did not. in most cases the college people have quite the edge… i mean, some of those people are really well-read and educated, it’s great.

but one important difference is this: college people for some reason seem to think it is okay to wear your running shoes to do anything other than run. UM, NO LADIES. obviously one would not have to wear heels or anything like that, but there are TONS of sneaker options, and cute flats! trainers in public are never allowed except for 30 minutes before excercising or Tn435_0193m 30 minutes after, but never both, and never with jeans! i hate to sound like someone who subscribes exclusively to fashion rules, because i really am not. unless i am the one who makes them or breaks them (see: the adidas runners with the blue dress in china town circa 2005. that was a good one) because unless you are making a bold statement, there is no excuse for some things. Asics and boot cut jeans? by god america, is this what our institutions of higher learning are teaching our children? shame.

anyhoo, conan is in re-runs, which is a bummer, but it led me to an awesome discovery: kate beckinsale rules.Getimgphp i always figured she was your average genereric, mermaid-haired, horse-face (not an insult, i like horsey girls) actress who was in bad movies. turns out she is really funny, one might even say a delight, in interviews. she was telling conan about seeing her huge head on film and it wasn’t like with some actresses where they are like “i am so gross, i love cheeseburgers!” it was genuine, self-depricating humor. she also said a bunch of funny stuff i forgot. point is, i learn a lot from watching conan. how sad, maybe that’s why i am so much dumber than my classmates.

speaking of celebrities, i saw a giant billboard for262391 the Oh! network on my way to UCLA today and i had a horrible realization… i have a strange, secret spot in my heart for lisa rinna. all logic and eyesight tells me i should think she is a terrifying, plastic beast, but for some reason i like her. she seems like a lady who knows how to balance fun and family, and i like that. of course, i also really like the taste of kambucha and being deprived of oxygen during the act of love, so i guess my taste is sometimes questionable. eh, whatevs.

p.s. we all know i hate low-end makeup, but i was tricked into trying the new mascara called Telescopic by L’Oreal because a) duh, L’Oreal and Lancome are the same company, b) hello, the packaging is a lil’ telescope! AWWW!Lorealmascaral, and c) in the commercial it makes penelope cruz have have lashes that look like beautiful black threads of steel, reaching out to strangle you to death. yes, this is digital, but she is supposedly a lez. hot! anyway, it was on sale at target and i bought it. it works pretty great, though not as good as the Lancome version i also use (called Fatale). it is way easier to apply though and i got tons of compliments. and a wicked eye itch but that might be alergies.

anyways bye.

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