first, two things:
1) my cold is gone, but now i am completely despondent and sick with self-loathing.
2) i'm pretty sure i'm mildly dyslexic. if it's possible to be "mildly" dyslexic.
on the bright side, my sick time last week was spent reading. sure, it was the trash classic valley of the dolls, but hey, emphasis on CLASSIC. i can't believe i hadn't read this before! i had a lot of problems with the narrative, not to mention the over-indulgent use of the word "fag," but i have to say once i started i couldn't put it down. i am always fascinated by stories where, while there are moments of vulnerability and goodness, most if not all of the characters are not terribly likable. i guess this comes from my early exposure and love for soap operas. i was hooked on guiding light, as the world turns, and the young and the restless by the time i was seven. i've mentioned before how i feel like this warped my brain a bit. instead of fairy tale complex, i definitely have it in my mind that life is a never ending struggle in which more than likely you are going to lose your husband to your best friend, probably get hit by a car, and the event of having your baby stolen by an escaped mental patient is just shy of inevitable. some people call that being dramatic, negative, or paranoid, but i think of it as being mentally prepared.
anyway, i always thought the "dolls" in this book were the women, but they are slang for the pills the women take, specifically seconal. pills scare me because i feel like it would be super-easy to get addicted to them by accident. it's not like you have to score them in some crack den. well, personally i think the crack den aspect of addiction would be the most rewarding because of all the wacky characters and atmosphere, but that must be the writer in me.
most of my experience with pills was limited to the time in high school when my best friend and i met this older guy who gave us valiums and vicodins all the time. the valium got me through some rough spots, such as my graduation day when i was sitting there knowing i wasn't going to get my diploma, but honestly i think the most i ever popped was two, and i mostly only used them when i felt i "needed" one. nerd alert, right? as for vicodin, i learned my lesson with that shit when i took one on an empty stomach once before religion class (catholic high school), and not only did i feel like i was on storm-beaten ship, but the teacher asked me to get up and shut the door and, upon doing so in my dazed state, it smacked me right on my forehead. i think she knew something was up then, and i never really got into that stuff again.
when i think of what could have happened (see: the episode of A&E's show intervention about a woman named sandra who is addicted to pain pills), i feel lucky, but then i remember that i don't really have an addictive personality. truthfully i am a big square deep down, don't let my tales of boozing and public sex fool you.
omg Jacqueline Susann novels rule. You have to read her others, Love Machine and especially Once is Not Enough. SCANDAL!!!
Posted by: Amy | July 23, 2008 at 09:06 PM