there once was a time when i thought the worst day of my life was the time i was working as a hostess at Buffalo Kitchen and, because i hated that job so much i thought i was going to lose my shit completely and commit suicide in the neighboring American Girl Place (*shudder*) right in front of some over-privileged American Brats, i begged the girl i was working with to let me leave early instead of her. that very same day, only an hour or so after i left, none other than britney spears herself, in the middle, juicy stages of her downward spiral (post head-shaving, pre-child hostage-holding), showed up and chowed down on some ribs. she also attempted to smoke on the enclosed non-smoking back patio and was asked to cease and desist, as the servers on duty scrambled to get the prized souvenir cigarette butt.
the fact that i missed that so i could lay on my couch watching “according to jim” and contemplating my wasted youth will haunt me for the rest of my life. until today, i didn’t think it could get much worse. then i walked into the pleasure chest in west hollywood thursday evening at 11 p.m. and realized, to my horror, that i had missed another potential greatest moment of my life ever. when we pulled up in the car, we knew something was afoot because there were camera crews walking out. then, as we entered, i saw the posters for the event. we had literally JUST missed the beautiful and glamorous coco, bikini model and wife of ice t. WTF! awful, seriously awful. ice t had been there too and i’m pretty much obsessed with him on law and order SVU, not to mention that whole seminal gangsta rapper thing and that adorable lisp! oh sadness! coco maintains that her ass is all-natural despite the fact that it defies all laws of nature and logic. i, for one, am inclined to believe her. if you can’t believe that somehow, in this crazy, fucked-up world, a 5’2″ 135 lb white woman can have ass-cleavage like two beanbag chairs in her bikini bottom, then what the hell can you believe in? i’m all about it. plus, i saw an interview once with her in it and she seemed like a sweetheart.
luckily, i was soothed when joe bought me a new toy. it is a pinwheel, something i have been wanting for a VERY long time. i wouldn’t say i am huge into “sensation play” but ever since i tested this thing out on my
arm at the late babeland store on melrose, i knew i had to have it. the little prickles it gives when used lightly feel so good! i can’t wait to use it in more, um, creative ways in private. another bit of wonderful news is i finally got my hands on a vixen bandit and we are having tons and tons of fun with that. i will post a full review of that was well as some other things next week.
the other good news is that i am house/kitty-sitting for a very good friend of mine this weekend, since i, sadly, could not make it to san francisco for gay pride. i will be somewhat lonesome here this weekend without most of my homos, BUT this is the house i was house-sitting when joseph and i first uncovered our love aka dit it all night long on our first date. i had a good feeling here from the beginning, but now it has an especially fuzzy feeling.
also, sorry i haven’t been writing to much. i’ve been a bit moody, but also it’s not fun to write posts in this new typepad compose window. i’m also sorry if there is wonky formatting, but i have NO IDEA how to fix it.
