it’s not that i’m too lazy to write, it’s just that i don’t FEEL like it. i’m in a bit of a funk right now. it’s that age-old problem of what to do when your life is nearly perfect except for the inability to function in society, you know? no? oh. anyway, i’ve been thinking of a lot of ideas, and writing in my mind, but when it comes time to sit in front of my laptop, i can’t quite think of what to say.
it is, however, rather out-of-line that i have not written anything for the entirety of may. i love may! june is my favorite month, but may is pretty good too. i had a great weekend because friday night joe and i hung out with my bff jenny. jen was over the moon because she just moved to a new apartment and her mom gave her all these old VHS tapes. we watched “sister act,” which is obviously a classic, but i haven’t watched that movie in years, and it is shocking to realize how utterly plausible the ridiculous plot seemed when i was ten. holy shit! it was during this time, a time i would venture to say comes in almost every young catholic girls’ life, that i was deeply considering becoming a nun. all musical comedies aside, it always just sounded like the good life. i went to a school that had very few sisters walking around, so all the nuns in my mind were perpetually young and beautiful, like rosy-cheeked saint bernadette, who were lauded for unselfishly giving their lives to god, never had to be any (mortal) man’s servant, give birth to any brats, and who were never lonely because they always had their sisters, aka bffs, around. i guess i pictured it like one big slumber party. then as i got older (okay, one year later) i re-discovered feminism, thought about how i’d never get to have sex or go out dancing, and how i’d have to pray all day and probably clean stuff. so much for that vocation. still, i got a little misty on friday night while watching sister act. something about when the young, skinny nun finds the powerful voice within her diminutive body gets me every time. seriously, i totally teared up and hit it from jenny and joe.
saturday was low-key because we had a big day on sunday. in keeping with the religious theme (whoa…), my little cousin was having his first communion and because we had a potluck to go to after and because, for some reason, joe really wanted to, i had to ditch my plans to avoid actually being at the church ceremony. if there’s anything i hate worse than sitting through an hour of mass, i don’t know what it is, but strangely, sunday wasn’t so bad. it was nice having joseph there, all dressed up in his button-down shirt and tie, sitting among my mom, aunt, and cousins. i actually felt quite relaxed. i like that joe likes doing family things with me. i told him that was the first time i ever had anyone i dated come to church with my family before and he didn’t believe it, since i was with my ex for five years, but my ex thought my family was creepy, what with our “seeing each other all the time” and “liking each other”. i definitely promised myself i would never date anyone who isn’t family-oriented again, and i told joseph that very early. he’s not used to big families either, but he is getting more comfortable with mine all the time, and they LOVE him, which makes me insanely happy. still, it was a little strange being “out” at church, but i guess we will never know if we were 
“passing” as a straight couple or if the rest of the congregation was simply being polite,as i didn’t notice any looks or anything, although that church is fairly conservative. anyway, it was a nice day. i found the picture to the right on google images, but this is basically me at my first communion. well, actually, i wish i was that bold. i’m probably more like the girl giving the side eye (my new favorite slang phenomenon) in the background. i do remember i WAS NOT HAPPY that day. not only did i have to go to mass, but i had to wear an uncomfortable dress it took forever to pick out, have my hair fussed with in the morning (i always hated that), and hang out with the other kids, whom i disliked immensely, especially the boys. it’s kind of a wonder i didn’t turn out to be a raging bull-dyke, but within the next two years, i had a caboodles filled to the brim with wet n’ wild, tinkerbell cosmetics, and my mom’s cast-off estee lauder lipsticks. i’ve been a high femme ever since. i’m still not overly keen on boys, though, just joe mostly.
the potluck we went to after was tons of debauched gay fun, so everything evened out. i took some pictures, but they are stuck on my camera. i will post them asap, though. some of them are HILARIOUS! it was a pre-cinco de mayo theme potluck, so everyone brought mexican food. i made my mom’s friend noemi’s recipe for vegetarian ceviche and also attempted my very first flan (which i documented in photos every step of the way.) i’ll tell you all about it when i get the pictures up.
well, that’s all for now. i’m trying to sort some things out, so i’m really sorry i’ve been inconsistent with posting. i think it will all be worthwhile in the end, for the both of us, dear reader, but that will remain to be seen.
hey, isn’t it funny how when it rains it pours? i mean, like, on friday we watched “sister act” then that night jenny gave me a note she kept forgetting to give me that one of my best friends from junior high who ran into her mom sent along for me. in the note, she confirms that yes, she is planning on becoming a nun. then there was the first communion mass, THEN tonight we were watching “true life” on mtv and there was this rich OC bitch who wanted to become a catholic nun. crazy! maybe i should look into this “god” thing again. i mean, for the last couple of years i have pretty much been religiously devoted to susan miller of astrology zone, but maybe that’s because she keeps saying, 
indirectly, that i am totally going to become a famous writer. well, i read my may horoscope and she said that yesterday was supposed to be an amazing day for me, but NOTHING happened. granted, i did not leave the house all damn day, but still, JESUS! seriously, jesus? are you still there? we may need to have a talk… do you guys think he’s on iChat?