my
brilliant plan to rise to greatness by screwing up my life really badly then
unleashing the most vicious surprise attack of capability the world has ever
seen is going along as planned. phase one, that is.
right
now i am watching "last comic standing" on nbc and it's filling me
with anxiety! partly because it makes me sad that i could never be confident
enough to go onstage and do that, yet at a time it was something i really
wanted to do, but mostly because i get really nervous for people on tv. in fact,
i think i experience about 67% of my emotions for people on tv. that is sad,
but it's not my fault. when i was a kid my grandma watched a lot of soap operas
and that's how i learned to feel.
omg,
time out, see, i just saw a promo for "america's got talent" and
started crying a little. if i wasn't so cynical and a big queer, i would be a
marketing team's dream come true.
anyway,
back to the comics, i think comedians are seriously undervalued in society. if
the world was fair, funny people would be way more famous than hot people.
granted, being funny and hot would probably be the best case scenario. a couple
of weeks ago amy caron and i went to a comedy show at the hollywood improv
called gays r us (uh huh) as we were invited by a friend of a friend, comedianjennie mcnulty.
jennie
was really funny, as were several of the night's performers, including erin foley who was on
last comic standing tonight. she is funny and pretty hot so hurray for her. okay, i'm just
bitter, seriously, she's pretty hilarious. there were a couple of other
comedians that made me laugh out loud big time. if i were a serious journalist, that story would have been beefed up by my meticulous notes and photos. well,
i'm not, so all i can say for certain is that the two drink minimum at the
improv is a real pain in the ass, but i drank a large "sex on the
stage", and as everyone knows, nothing turns a frown upside down like a
theme cocktail. there were two other girls who were close to my age and one of
them was absolutely HYSTERICAL, if dark, and another who had good presence and
delivery, i thought, but her jokes were surprisingly dated for her age. rosie
o'donnel jokes? seriously? in any case, i was filled with envy, as i always am
when i go to comedy clubs and see them gathered together, a little community of
funny people. even the door guy was funny.
whatever,
i'm sure someday i will find my own special community of … of … well,
whatever i am.
here is a
video of erin foley, just for funsies since she is on "last comic
standing." amy caron worked on a special project video with jennie
mcnulty, which i will be posting as soon as she releases it.
*NEVER MIND about the video. the fucking stupid awful new typepad compose window is being a dick and reformatting things and not showing things and changing my background AHHHH. i am in a murderous rage currently. don't ask why the text of the links up there is larger cause guess what? I HAVE NO IDEA. i hate you, typepad.
i am tired. i am pretty sure i am going bald, but also i need a haircut. i like not having to work too much because it gives me time to work on other projects, but i never work on said projects like i should. ugh, so many THINGS. you would think that a person's life would be simple when their only real goals are to be able to afford laser hair removal and to have sex at least every day for the rest of their life. whatever. i'm sorry if i seem lazy, but i officially don't sleep anymore except during the day and it's kind of cramping my style. it doesn't make me want to write at night anymore, it's making me want to do day stuff. actually, scratch that, i have no idea what day stuff even is.
there will be a lot of goings on in the coming weeks and i will document it well, i promise. taking pictures is my new favorite thing.
speaking of which, this picture illustrates very well my current season of pleasure and pain. on one hand, i have a gorgeous joe who i love more than anything and who loves me, and on the other i have a rapidly receding hairline. and severe neurotic tendencies. also, what's with the audrina patridge zombie eyes on me? oh well, love that joseph!
as Amanda: Failure Princess steadily approaches it's year-and-a-half birthday, i am flooded with thoughts that i may or may not have already written about but am too lazy to go back and check on. don't get me wrong, it brings me endless pleasure a giggle to go back and read my previous posts, but these days i am so busy looking for jobs on craigslist and lamenting the current state of my wardrobe that i can't be bothered. sooo, if you find that i am repeating myself a bit, just smile and nod at me. i get very nostalgic in the summertime.
it's that time of year again and it seems i am spending another summer semi-living at home. it's about 20 minutes from l.a., but i could swear it was the middle of the wilderness. the only bars here are closed-down-looking chinese places, the night is totally silent except for birds chirping and the train whistle, and the bugs are the size of bats. i am in hell.
some things stick in your mind over years and years, for no good reason. for me, one of those things is the "shrimp and garlic pasta" song from a commercial CoCo's restaurant ran circa the mid-nineties. the song went something like "shrimp and garlic pasta…" blah blah, i don't remember the rest, but i remember the melody. it was supposed to be kinda 50s be-bop-ish.
another bit of information i can't seem to shake is each and every nickname my fellow nerd friend in junior high and i had for all of the other kids in our class. i pretty much remember them all, although i wish i didn't. it's not as mean as it sounds… well, the names were, for the most part, but also for the most part those kids made fun of us nonstop. i like to think of it now as a kind of counter-terrorism, albeit clandestine. anyway, i've been thinking of junior high a lot lately since my one of my other best friends from back then just had a baby. yesterday, one of the, shall we say, not-so-nice girls from back then added me on myspace. i was surprised by that, but pleasantly so, as i don't honestly believe most of us can be held accountable for things we did when we were thirteen at this stage.
also, as a lifelong outcast dork-turned-ultra-cool (HAHAHAHAHA), i have had to do a fair amount of forgiving my former tormentors. nothing says "water-under-the-bridge" like being wasted at a bar when i was 20 years-old and sharing an intimate apology and forgiveness sesh, complete with mutual tears, in the bathroom with the girl whose harassment brought me to the brink of suicide in freshman year of high school. i think she was really really sorry, and it's funny how intimidated i felt still, even though i was there with a huge pack of my friends and armed with years of subsequent validation that some of that teasing had actually made me into a better person. i was ready to forgive, and almost embarrassed at how regretful she was.
still, human nature being what it is, there is always that inclination towards targeting the weak. even though my nerd friend and i were definitely some of the cool kids' favorite targets, there was one girl who, though i would not say i considered socially "below me", was definitely a target of my scorn for many reasons, most notably how badly she wanted to be my friend. i feel sick even thinking about it now, but i remember the days in sixth grade on the playground when i decided i just didn't want to speak to her, so i wouldn't. my other friends and i would just walk away when she talked to us or hide in the girls bathroom, which was where we went to gossip. it was awful. i never saw her again for years after eighth grade, by which time i had successfully ditched her as a close friend but we were on friendly terms, so i thought. i finally ran into her several ago at the local kmart. i recognized her immediately, smiled excitedly and said hi. she looked startled, said a short hello, and nearly knocked over a couple of racks of sunglasses to get away from me. it was only then that i realized the impact of how i had treated her, even as we were becoming adults.
since then i have learned not to take being well-liked for granted. i try to be nice to everyone, even people i don't like that much because i know that there must be SOMETHING good about them. i'm not always perfect, and i definitely talk a lot of shit, but i try. i also know that even though we are not little pre-teen and teen monsters anymore, sometimes being in certain people's favor can be so fragile, and at the end of the day all that matters is that you treated the people around you with kindness and empathy and i want to be surrounded my people that think the same way.
i don't know what this is all about. i guess i have been thinking about being a better person and how i can improve myself. truthfully, what i need is years of deep, intensive counseling, but for now i suppose i will have to settle for crying about my dad when i get drunk and writing in this blog. good times, special times.
typepad, the service that i use to compose and publish this lovely blog, has decided to change their compose box to something utterly stupid and impossible to use. i am currently enraged, but the cheery font it is showing me on my screen is telling me otherwise, further enraging me. argh!
anyhoo, i'm pretty spent. i know you've all been wondering "when is amanda going to tell us about her period again?" so here goes. i am too broke to buy tampons, so i have to use pads that, as if they weren't humiliating enough, are ALL WRONG. my mom said she had a stash of old maxis (as they called them once, LOL) and gave me this big, giant bag. well, they are Poise Pads, which, if you don't know, are especially marketed to women for mild incontinence. as far as i know (and i do know) my mother has never suffered from mild incontinence, so she either bought them by accident long ago, or they are ancient relics from previous inhabitants of our house. i won't have you suffer through the details, but let me just say, things that are meant to absorb urine are no good at absorbing other things, and things that are meant to be diapers look and feel like diapers, no matter how pink the packaging may be. screw you, Poise Pads!
that is all.
oh, also i uploaded a bunch of new pictures onto my Flickr, so if you want to see pictures of how my life is, you can. i have a feeling i won't be posting too many personal pics here for a while, if i don't figure out this new input system soon. screw you, typepad!
if you ask me, age does matter. i'd like to think i'm pretty hip, but i know full well that i am almost totally out of touch with a lot of people in their early twenties, even though i'm only (only! as if) 27. this age is a little funny because it's definitely a kind of small milestone. when i was a kid i was often considered a bit precocious, then into my teens and early twenties i was "wise beyond my years," which was a compliment, certainly. but now, as i enter into undisputed adulthood, into my pre-thirties and thirties, i wonder of there is a such thing as being wise beyond one's years at this point. i mean, yes, there is a level of sage that one can always aspire to, which hopefully will grow with age, but once you get to a certain point, i imagine that you should just be wise.
and then there are those to which true wisdom never comes, regardless of age. which brings me to this fun link to a blog called things younger than mccain, which i first read about on one of my favorite blogs gaycondo. this blog is basically a list of things that are younger than presidential candidate john mccain. it is funny, informative, and kind of scary, as well as admittedly ageist. i can't imagine this guy actually getting elected, but i guess nothing would really shock me at this point.
let me start by saying i feel a bit overwhelmed because i haven’t written for so long. you must understand that i write to you all day in my head. every time the breeze blows a grain of sand into my eye, every time i go into a bathroom that is out of hand soap, and every time i accidentally think of miley cyrus in a sexual way (so wrong), i think “that’s going in the blog!”
so, as you can imagine, a week-long hiatus, particularly during a week in which i went out nearly every night, the supreme court of california overturned the ban on gay marriage, and i saw one of the best live shows i’ve ever seen, i have a lot to say. oh yeah, and i was kidding about miley, although i do love blasting “see you again” from my car, and it gets some weird looks from other adults. whatever, that song rules.
okay, for starters, there is a new queer night in los angeles called Wildness, which takes place at a dive bar in korea town called the silver platter on tuesday nights. the only bad things i can say about this night is that the bar is beer and wine only and that it gets a little crowded. seriously, it’s totally “off the hook” as they used to say like, four years ago. what do they say now? can anyone help me be cool? email me at amandafailureprincess@gmail.com if you can. anyhoo, the night is basic in that it consists of djs, a dance floor, beer, crappy bathroom situations, etc. what makes it unique is the crowd, which is so diverse i don’t even know where to start. the best way to describe it i guess would be “art fag” though that doesn’t really say anything does it? let me just say that the patrons of this particular club cross all gender, orientation, ethnic, and age lines, but what they have in common, from the locals to the lookie-loos, is the desire to dance up a storm, check out awesome performances (last week was sister mantos), dress to impress (in so many ways), and just be… free i guess. i know it sounds sorta hippie-ish, but i’m into it. i’ve been kind of bah-humbug lately, but i would go to this every week if i had it in me. last week there was a limo parked out front where you could lounge with your friends and buy $2 tequila shots. at one point, this guy burst into the limo shouting “who has the poppers?!?!?” no, he was not joking. he never did find those poppers, but it made me feel good knowing he had them at some point. disco isn’t dead, my friends.
wednesday night i went to a benefit show for my friend vanessa, whose bicycle-cum-art piece was stolen from the very place the benefit was held (echo curio). the cartographers played, there was much dancing and merriment, then we all headed to the eagle for some more fun. it was a really fun night, but again, i am having mood issues. i know it’s partly pms but i feel something else at work. i just don’t feel motivated to go out anymore, and it’s not just cause i’m in a relationship. i just feel kind of “blah” and it makes me sad because i love my friends and i love being out and about.
i don’t know what’s up with that. i mean, i have a few ideas, but it’s going to take a lot of effort to get to where i want to be… that being in my favorite dress and back in heels. here’s the deal: i barely dance anymore. i feel impeded by two things, the first being that i’m just not comfortable with my body at all right now. this is not to say that i think there is anything wrong with how i, or any other people of size (lol, i mean fat people), look on the dance floor, as everyone knows that dancing well is more about confidence, rhythm, and making a hilarious/sexy dance face than how a person’s body looks. i have seen some hot, skinny bitches massacre a dance floor before, much to my horror. seriously, i get chills up my spine just thinking of one girl in particular. eesh! still, my body just doesn’t feel good to me right now. it is difficult to focus on perfecting one’s booty shake when you can feel your belly fat a-jigglin’ too, i’m not going to lie. the second reason i am having trouble with the dance is that i dance much better in heels, but i never wear heels anymore. i wasn’t able to wear them when i was younger, but about three years ago, when i started to lose weight, i was suddenly comfortable in them and wore them out nearly every night all last summer. it’s so much easier and fun to dance in heels, especially if you are going to be pulling any fancy booty-dropping moves. well, now that i have gained all this weight, i seriously can’t wear them for more than 15 minutes without wanting to stab my feet to death for betraying me. i will always and forever admire those fat ladies and drag queens who can wear heels all day into the the night. hot damn!
in other news, i missed long beach gay pride this weekend, which i am pretty bummed about, BUT the awesome thing was the reason i missed saturday night was that i won 2 tickets (through perezhilton.com. don’t judge me!) to see robyn! i have never won a thing in my life and i won these days before i had big plans. oh well, i decided i had to go to the show because a) i WON!, and b) i love robyn’s new(ish. been out in europe forevs) album and heard her show was really brilliant. it WAS! i was so impressed by how great she sounded live and how great her band sounded as well. she has two drummers, which i have never seen before and is awesome, and a guy on keys/computer, plus sometimes one of them plays guitar. she is SO cute and adorable and i love how she is straight but has lesbian hair. the audience was 90% gay men, so of course i felt at home and at ease. i took joe as my date and he really enjoyed the show too, even though he’s not a robyn fan, that’s how good it was. you guys OBVIOUSLY remember robyn’s hit “show me love” from the 90s, if only from the movie, right? i happen to think that song is great, but her new stuff is very different since she has her own label now, and just REALLY good. here i am enjoying the souvenir robyn canvas tote that joe bought me. you must MUST download “cobrastyle”, “be mine!” (original version, not ballad), “with every heartbeat”, “handle me”, and “who’s that girl” (produced by the knife), all of which were even better live. plus, she did an encore of “show me love” reworked to be much slower and more her new style, but very awesome to hear that song live. i was not expecting that, though i’d hoped for it.
last summer i went to long beach, l.a., and sf pride. so far this year, like i said, i missed long beach, and i don’t know if i’m going to make it to sf. my one consolation is that l.a. pride is going to KICK ASS this year, thanks to the organizing of some very special peeps. last year east side pride, aka the silverlake dyke march, afterparty at the eagle, and super-party at mj higgins put on by packin’ heat were so amazing, i just knew it could only get better. this year it most definitely will with dyke day l.a., a day in the park preceding the dyke march that will feature djs, bands, comedy, arts, etc. i’m REALLY REALLY excited about this because i am hungering for a queer community, a truly queer community and not the gay bar culture of west hollywood, in los angeles. i know i need to challenge myself and my own shyness and insecurity (and laziness) to become more involved. i patted myself on the back briefly because joe and i volunteered a few months ago to gather signatures to counter the people who are gathering signatures to put another anti gay marriage initiative on the ballot. then i remembered that i really sucked at getting signatures while joseph, mr. “i’m not as social as you” was ACE. you should have seen him, it was so hot. i wanted to eff him right there on those library steps! anyway, i was butt-hurt and disappointed at how bad i was at it and complained a bunch and vowed never to do it again. still, there MUST be a way to apply my talents to some type of activism, right? haha, omg, i fear that perhaps being an activist entails some kind of hope and optimism that i simply do not possess.
no, i know that’s not true. i feel alive with hope when i think of all the good things to come in the future, not just for “my people,” but for everyone. i did shed a few tears of joy when i read the supreme court verdict, and not just because, since finding the first true love i’ve ever had, i can see more than ever to possibility of walking down the aisle myself, but because of all of the committed partners that came before us and paved the way for this. this is a huge step in history, for the gay couples who never got the chance to marry, for the gay couples that will marry now after waiting so long, the gay couples that will marry in the future, and for the gay couples that will say “fuck that, i never want to get married!” because they have that choice to make. that’s what the freedom to marry is about, you know, freedom. definitely one giant leap for love.
classic robyn video, “show me love”. the nineties were so scary/wonderful!
the awesome video for “be mine” by robyn. such a sad, yet danceable song. my fav kind!
and to end on a happy note, robyn’s GENIUS performance of “cobrastyle” (a teddybears cover) on david letterman recently. and no, her band didn’t wear those bear heads at the show, heh.
i know you all hate me because i did not write any posts last week. i’m sorry for that, but i was very busy doing stuff. i have a lot to write about now, but i can’t really because my computer power cord decided to melt itself so i am on limited time, here.
1) it’s hot as fuck in l.a. right now, almost unbearably so.
2) i didn’t get to go to any long beach pride events because i won tickets to see robyn on saturday night (AMAZING. more on that later) and sunday i had a family party. it was a great weekend though.
3) joe is sexy.
4) i’m working a bit tomorrow, which is REALLY exciting. i’m down to a $1.47. seriously.
5) i don’t know, i have a bunch of things on my mind, but my brain won’t work in this heat and my computer sucks.
tomorrow? yes, tomorrow. i will probably delete this, so bask in my mediocrity while you can.
i wish i could say that i have any news, but alas, i cannot. you will be happy to know that i have finally decided that i have come to a point where i can commit to a certain lifestyle. and by that, i mean diet and exercise. i have been trying everything for this to avoid being an option, because i am an intelligent woman whose ass could never grow bigger than her heart, with a sharp wit enjoyed by everyone around her and, by god, one of the keenest senses of style around. also, i am in love with a wonderful boy who loves me just the way i am. also, i REALLY REALLY like spaghetti.
alas, i have come to accept that size acceptance is just not for me. it took losing 40 lb and gaining it back for me to realize that i never needed to be and never will be a size 6, but i was feeling pretty good at 10 and i don’t care what i have to do to get back there. the thing is, it really wasn’t that hard. all i had to do was stay away from bad carbs and fats, snack a lot during the day on healthy foods, go for a walk at least 5 days a week and/or dancing every night. sure, i was really sad every time someone said “let’s get a pizza!” but for the love of god, i felt so free in every other aspect of my life. perhaps too free, as there were several instances of public nudity during that time, but i was having fun. still, i don’t think it will be like that this time around. i dunno, i’m just tired of feeling tired and sick all the time. it’s bad enough i am almost legally blind and have a case of acid reflux disease that is growing more severe by the day, do i really need to add diabetes to the mix? the answer is no. this is a personal choice, for me. i don’t think fat people should have to be ashamed or feel marginalized by society just because of how they look. i will always struggle with my weight, mentally, no matter how i look physically because i know what it’s like to be treated like less than human because of my size. actually, i keep forgetting that i gained weight, so the truth is, i feel it all the time when i go out. it’s the strangest thing to be growing larger and feel more and more invisible. the point is, i’m all about size acceptance, but i will not be accepting a damn thing until i fit back into my favorite dress.
in related news, i have discovered something that will offer a bit of good cheer to we zaftig women. it seems that this summer the fuller-coverage retro bathing suit is all the rage. this happens once in a while. i used to find it comforting because i thought “AHA! they won’t all be wearing their teeny bikinis this season!” but then i realized that since i never wore a bathing suit anyhow, i still stuck out like a sore thumb in my shorts and t-shirt. these days, i take an entirely different approach. i want to see more skin on the beach. bring on the nip and lip slips! i think it’s hysterical, plus then you get to see pretty much naked girls all over the place. at dinah, my favorite game became “spot the razor burn” on the bikini line. still, no one can deny the classic elegance of a 1950s/1960s swimsuit. as some of you will remember from this post, i bought my first bathing suit in YEARS to wear at dinah. it is a fun, flirty, retro-inspired suit (wet-able dress). i actually got a lot of compliments on it and like it a lot, but it’s not nearly as cute as the real vintage thing. back to the point, in my research for that post i found a picture of the thin girl in an all-black one-piece on google image search, but now i realize that was part of this new trend. urban outfitters is selling all kinds of new vintage-inspired swimwear looks, and here’s the good news: these bathing suits look awful on super-thin models! don’t get me wrong, i love super-thin models and think they are beautiful, but much like fat women should probably never wear capri pants, tall girls look ridiculous in leggings, and pointy shoes are the elf-ish enemy of the petite, the retro-inspired bathing suit is best left the curvy girls among us. the skinny models just look weird in them. the material bunches at their crotches, the bust embellishments overwhelm their bony chests, and the amount of coverage combined with a busy pattern kind of makes them look like a folded umbrella. hehehe. score one for the big team!
still, i would sell one of my kidneys to be able to, just once, have a space between my thighs large enough for a marching band to pass through when my heels are placed together.
it’s not that i’m too lazy to write, it’s just that i don’t FEEL like it. i’m in a bit of a funk right now. it’s that age-old problem of what to do when your life is nearly perfect except for the inability to function in society, you know? no? oh. anyway, i’ve been thinking of a lot of ideas, and writing in my mind, but when it comes time to sit in front of my laptop, i can’t quite think of what to say.
it is, however, rather out-of-line that i have not written anything for the entirety of may. i love may! june is my favorite month, but may is pretty good too. i had a great weekend because friday night joe and i hung out with my bff jenny. jen was over the moon because she just moved to a new apartment and her mom gave her all these old VHS tapes. we watched “sister act,” which is obviously a classic, but i haven’t watched that movie in years, and it is shocking to realize how utterly plausible the ridiculous plot seemed when i was ten. holy shit! it was during this time, a time i would venture to say comes in almost every young catholic girls’ life, that i was deeply considering becoming a nun. all musical comedies aside, it always just sounded like the good life. i went to a school that had very few sisters walking around, so all the nuns in my mind were perpetually young and beautiful, like rosy-cheeked saint bernadette, who were lauded for unselfishly giving their lives to god, never had to be any (mortal) man’s servant, give birth to any brats, and who were never lonely because they always had their sisters, aka bffs, around. i guess i pictured it like one big slumber party. then as i got older (okay, one year later) i re-discovered feminism, thought about how i’d never get to have sex or go out dancing, and how i’d have to pray all day and probably clean stuff. so much for that vocation. still, i got a little misty on friday night while watching sister act. something about when the young, skinny nun finds the powerful voice within her diminutive body gets me every time. seriously, i totally teared up and hit it from jenny and joe.
saturday was low-key because we had a big day on sunday. in keeping with the religious theme (whoa…), my little cousin was having his first communion and because we had a potluck to go to after and because, for some reason, joe really wanted to, i had to ditch my plans to avoid actually being at the church ceremony. if there’s anything i hate worse than sitting through an hour of mass, i don’t know what it is, but strangely, sunday wasn’t so bad. it was nice having joseph there, all dressed up in his button-down shirt and tie, sitting among my mom, aunt, and cousins. i actually felt quite relaxed. i like that joe likes doing family things with me. i told him that was the first time i ever had anyone i dated come to church with my family before and he didn’t believe it, since i was with my ex for five years, but my ex thought my family was creepy, what with our “seeing each other all the time” and “liking each other”. i definitely promised myself i would never date anyone who isn’t family-oriented again, and i told joseph that very early. he’s not used to big families either, but he is getting more comfortable with mine all the time, and they LOVE him, which makes me insanely happy. still, it was a little strange being “out” at church, but i guess we will never know if we were “passing” as a straight couple or if the rest of the congregation was simply being polite,as i didn’t notice any looks or anything, although that church is fairly conservative. anyway, it was a nice day. i found the picture to the right on google images, but this is basically me at my first communion. well, actually, i wish i was that bold. i’m probably more like the girl giving the side eye (my new favorite slang phenomenon) in the background. i do remember i WAS NOT HAPPY that day. not only did i have to go to mass, but i had to wear an uncomfortable dress it took forever to pick out, have my hair fussed with in the morning (i always hated that), and hang out with the other kids, whom i disliked immensely, especially the boys. it’s kind of a wonder i didn’t turn out to be a raging bull-dyke, but within the next two years, i had a caboodles filled to the brim with wet n’ wild, tinkerbell cosmetics, and my mom’s cast-off estee lauder lipsticks. i’ve been a high femme ever since. i’m still not overly keen on boys, though, just joe mostly.
the potluck we went to after was tons of debauched gay fun, so everything evened out. i took some pictures, but they are stuck on my camera. i will post them asap, though. some of them are HILARIOUS! it was a pre-cinco de mayo theme potluck, so everyone brought mexican food. i made my mom’s friend noemi’s recipe for vegetarian ceviche and also attempted my very first flan (which i documented in photos every step of the way.) i’ll tell you all about it when i get the pictures up.
well, that’s all for now. i’m trying to sort some things out, so i’m really sorry i’ve been inconsistent with posting. i think it will all be worthwhile in the end, for the both of us, dear reader, but that will remain to be seen.
hey, isn’t it funny how when it rains it pours? i mean, like, on friday we watched “sister act” then that night jenny gave me a note she kept forgetting to give me that one of my best friends from junior high who ran into her mom sent along for me. in the note, she confirms that yes, she is planning on becoming a nun. then there was the first communion mass, THEN tonight we were watching “true life” on mtv and there was this rich OC bitch who wanted to become a catholic nun. crazy! maybe i should look into this “god” thing again. i mean, for the last couple of years i have pretty much been religiously devoted to susan miller of astrology zone, but maybe that’s because she keeps saying, indirectly, that i am totally going to become a famous writer. well, i read my may horoscope and she said that yesterday was supposed to be an amazing day for me, but NOTHING happened. granted, i did not leave the house all damn day, but still, JESUS! seriously, jesus? are you still there? we may need to have a talk… do you guys think he’s on iChat?
