maybe i just watch way too much “law and order,” but lately i have been really paranoid about being murdered. i mean, everyone sometimes thinks about the possibility of being violently accosted by a stranger, but what about being murdered by an acquaintance or friend in a moment of passion? it’s not like those people on law and order who are having a glass of wine with so-and-so let so-and-so in knowing he is going to totally flip and bludgeon/stab/strangle them to death! this means that at pretty much any given time, there is a possibility that one could be killed. last night i made joe promise to never murder me after having another one of my now standard waking dreams (i never sleep) that i was hanging out in my (non-existent) apartment and some anonymous person i was chilling with slammed my head into the wall and killed me.
it was one of those dreams where you are watching yourself do stuff, which very rarely happens to me. usually i am watching things from behind my eyes in my dreams.
oh my god, could i BE more exciting right now?
sorry, i had a rough weekend. friday was stress-filled. the good parts were joe and i got our plane tix to sf and we went to babeland on melrose to look at sex toys. i have (duh) been obsessed with the babeland site for a long time, but i had actually never been to the shop. it was fucking amazing! the whole place is kind of set up like a friend’s room or something. not in a cheesy, earth-mother, step into my parlour kind of way, but in an “holy shit, my friend ____ has a splendid collection of sexy books, dvds, sex toys, and condoms. and the massage candle she’s burning smells hella good!” i know one of the girls that works there and she was very helpful re: condoms. i ended up buying the babeland sampler pack. my next plan is to write a review on here of different condoms and how well they work with dlidos. this will be a very subjective review because of the different shapes/sizes of dildos and the different shapes/sizes of pussies, but i have been looking for condom reviews for users who aren’t… uh… penis havers… and i can’t find one so i’m going to write it. joe and i have the babeland sampler pack and we also bought (the other night in a pinch) this trojan condom sampler pack, so basically i am going to be fucking a whole lot for the sake of journalism. no, no, don’t call me a hero.
sneak preview: the babeland condom (they have their own brand, one type: lubed, subtly studded, standard fit, pink) ROCKS.
ANYWAY, i just really liked the layout of the whole place, but i was a little overwhelmed because we were on a tight schedule, so i really can’t wait until i get back there (and have money) so i can browse for hours.
i seriously could and will do that. i will bring a sack lunch.
saturday night i went to that party. first we stopped at my friend ajai’s to meet up and chit chat a little and she was hanging out with this hot lesbo who is totally a paparazzo who stalks celebs and stuff. isn’t that amazing? i pretty much wet myself. out of nowhere, the paparazzo looks at me and she goes, “have you ever seen the movie ‘party monster’? the way you’re talking right now reminds me of james st. james.”
hahahaha. oh man, i have officially reached my goal of becoming so faggy i have surpassed even the average gay man. if i was a gay man, i would be almost super-human. here is a clip from party monster. in case you didn’t see the movie, james st. james is (surprisingly brilliantly) portrayed by seth green. don’t ask me why macaulay culkin’s concept of playing a gay club kid = british schoolboy. whatevs.
LOL. the party was really fun, for the most part, but we got there late and we stayed there late and it was a whole lot of party for someone who never goes out anymore, therefor sunday was rough. there was a shitload of booze and a shitload of dancing lesbians. i took a bunch of pics, but i think they were all awful. i need to figure out how to use my camera. i dunno, maybe i will post some tomorrow.
whoa, isn’t it weird how my 6 am ramblings have somehow tied into each other? remember the thing about being murdered unexpectedly by an acquaintance or friend from earlier… and that’s exactly what party monster is about. you see, readers? that’s called “story craftsmanship.”
yeah… i totally did that on purpose.
I’m obsessed with L&O now. We officially tivo all 3 version. We like the OG one the best, even tho I know everyone likes SVU the best.
anyways don’t look at my blog. It’s ridiculously outdated. In fact the last update was something about how T-Rex’s sure are a bunch of assholes or something.