i know, i know, i really want to post the pictures of my hot portland friends as much as you want to see them (as well as the most amazing hairstyle ever witnessed in a bar ever), but as i mentioned before, joe is insistent upon “privacy” and refuses to let me use his unedited image. i have talked him down from a full-on superimposed cartoon head to a black band over his eyes, but i have no idea/time to go over all the pics just now. i am annoyed that you all don’t get to see how adorable joe is. seriously, he’s exactly my type, it makes me want to cry sometimes.
anyhoo, instead for you, i have a list! this one’s called “WHY?!?! or TRY!“
WHY?!?! do some people have almost no bottom eyelashes?
i’m not trying to sound like a bigot, but this is one of those physical traits that makes me feel generally uneasy. sometimes it seems like they even line the bottom lower-lid with white to make it more intense. add this to the list of reasons i hate emmy rossum. the only people who could get away with this look are burn victims, and honestly there are a lot of looks i’m sure they could rock that none of us would argue with. for the love of jesus, wear lower lash mascara! and if, for some reason, you have no lashes there, that’s what falsies are for. and eyeliner. and sunglasses.
TRY! water. 
WHY?!?! must there be chin hairs? oh rancorous injustice! when i am in the arms of 
my sweet lover joe, i look upon his soft face only to see six long, thriving chin hairs. welcome ones. ones that dispite my verbal and physical protests, he will not let me remove! it’s not that i mind the chin hairs, not at all, it’s just that i can’t stand the fact that this person walks around day by day with a face as smooth as cupid’s ass except for six (three on each side) swaying catfish whiskers that seem to mock me, while i, his sweet, feminine flower of a girlfriend, have to accept the fact that i now posess pretty much a full beard if i don’t pluck every other day. SAD.
TRY! breathe right strips. 
they really work against snoring. i PERSONALLY do not snore (not much, i mean. i don’t think so. shut up!), but joe does and it drives me insane. these things seem to really work… kind of. it’s hit or miss, but it definitely lowers the volume. thanks GlaxoSmithKline Corp, for saving my relationship!
WHY?!?! do i kiss with my eyes open? i have been observing this behavior in myself for some time now, and it is official, i definitely have my eyes open more often than closed when i make out. that’s creepy, right? i mean, for the person i’m kissing. seriously, does anyone know some scientific reason for this? am i a freak?
TRY! listening to the old saying “it happens when you least expect it.” i have found that it’s true, at least in the cases of finding true love or getting mild alcohol poisoning. next i’m going to see if it’s true that “a penny saved is a penny earned” … literally, with pennies. that’s all i got.
WHY?!?! have i been to the pringles website already and it’s only the first month 
of 2008? well, it’s because we were in portland, oregon and i had to have these dill pickle flavored potato chips you could only get up there, but the brand didn’t make them anymore. luckily, i spotted a new variety of pringles, PRINGLES EXTREME, while out late one night at the plaid pantry convenience store. i looked it up online and sure enough, the flavor “screamin’ dill pickle” was for real. i got them the next night and they were seriously so gross i had to eat them all to fully accept that fact.
well, i guess that’s all i have to say right now. i am trying to force myself to write every day this week, even though all i want to do is cuddle up with you know who and sleep this rainy weather away. i hate the rain. spring better be worth it!