it may seem as though i have always been the delicate flower i am today, but this is far from true. when i was little, i used to run around and climb trees, loved making mud pies, and had more scrapes on my knees than just about anyone. i don’t know what happened to that person, but i would say the last thing i climbed for pleasure was probably joe, the only “mud” i currently want to be associated with includes the word “mask,” and the most serious injury i expect to incur any time soon is rug burn. it’s a pity, really, since i think i am naturally a rather hardy creature, but i have to succumb to the fact that at present i am ill-equipped to deal with such things as “temperature changes” or “making small but important decisions.” this makes traveling hard.
we are still in portland, currently. we leave thursday morning. while i love this city and my friends here so much, i am definitely starting to feel homesick for l.a.
spending the new year here was a wonderful idea, as it eliminated any need for me to panic about which party to attend. i knew exactly where to go because my friends vera and aubree were djing there. we got there somewhat early and started to settle in, chit-chatting with the fabulous beyond belief niki, gf to the max of vera (dj automaton) and mastermind behind the clothing line luxury jones. i was on the dance floor, minding my own biz kissing joe, meeting his best friend nikki (note the difference in name spelling for future ref), who is my new favorite person, and some other peeps when WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK my ex walks into the party! seriously, this was a wtffx moment… yeah, i totally invented a new internet word. aren’t there laws against things like this happening on one’s vacation? it’s not like i HATE my ex or anything, and i guess in theory i should have expected this since my ex just moved to pdx and this was “the biggest queer party in town,” but still, i say wtffx! it was jarring, and i would like to say i smiled, walked across the dance floor, and said hello, but no, that would have been too easy and dignified. instead, i hid, first in joe’s mouth, then behind joe, then upstairs in the “VIP area” aka hostess’ bedroom. yikes.
what really threw a wrench in my night though, was that the party was HUGE, almost too big to mingle if you didn’t know a bunch of people and too crowded to dance. even the outside area was teeming over with lesbians. to my delight, just before midnight, i met beth ditto of the band the gossip (need i even link? i think not.) now, around these parts, she is generally referred to as “my friend beth” or “oh, hey beth” or even “beth,” but i am not ashamed to say that i have admired this woman (who is the same age and, as we discussed, astrological sign [pisces biatch!] as myself) since the very first time i ever saw her band play in like… maybe 2000? they were touring with legendary bands bratmobile and sleater-kinney (who were headlining) and as the opening band, they simply blew the whole show out of the water. i have seen them several times since then and will continue to as often as i can. beth is truly an amazing performer, role model and, i am pleased to report, HILARIOUS and NICE PERSON! how refreshing to meet someone you think is totally awesome from afar and have them actually be… totally awesome. it was the perfect midnight, sharing champers with beth ditto and her fab boyfriend freddy fagula, and kissing my fab boyfriend joe. minus the panic and the whiskey in the middle. eesh. shortly after that we left the party because, as i said, it was WAY too crowded and smelled like b.o.
still, all in all i say it was a success. i feel kind of dumb about the whole “hiding from my ex” thing, but i think my ex probs didn’t want to see me there any more than i wanted to see my ex, so it was for the best. time heals all wounds, as they say, but i am pretty cross with my ex at present because the time before the last time we broke up, my ex defaced my 2nd fav black jacket with the words “CRUEL LIES LYING BITCH” in sparkly blue acrylic paint (wtf?). mostly, i was mad because of the color choice… otherwise that jacket might have been kind of hilarious to wear around town, but the color is really hideous. anyway, that was a long time ago, but i am re-mad because it’s winter now and my real fav black jacket got stolen from my car when ajai’s purse got stolen and now i have a grand total of ZERO black jackets. sad. the one that got stolen was actually the best jacket ever. i got it on ebay years ago, but i saw a girl wearing the white version a few weeks ago! it even had the same “grapevines” brand. it was nylon, kinda members only-ish but girly with a popped collar, puffy piping, and pleated at the back. if you find one like that in black or any color i guess, please let me know! or also let me know if you know how to get year-old acrylic paint out of a similar nylon jacket.
SHEESH! the things i go through!
in conclusion, i would like to say goodbye portland. you were a wonderful host! i love your people, plethora of queers, and your variety of delicious foods, but i do not love your rain and the fear that at any moment i will say something to offend a hippie, therefore it is back to l.a. for me, for now. i will miss you terribly, but i will post the (few) pics i took here when i get home and i will be back in the summer. to los angeles: i’m coming home home homo! be ready with a bottle of vodka of the gods, a dance party, and the lust to kick long beach’s ASS at lesbo basketball!