sometimes i look at my life and realize that it has spun so far out of my control that not even traditional tools of self-punishment (i.e. eating my feelings, cutting, pushing away those who love me) can bring it back into my control. in these times, i begin to doubt every last small spark of good i see in myself, every time i have been able to look in the mirror, on the page, or at my fat little brown hands and think “hey, amanda, not too shabby!”
then something good will finally happen, i’ll have a good night, or i will just get the most brilliant idea ever. for example:
i have been thinking of what could be a clever solution to contain joe’s and my ever-growing collection of sex toys. quite frankly, the overflowing vans shoe box next to his bed just isn’t doing it for me anymore. um, and can you say, “wtf, why is my dildo covered in cat hair?!?!” NOT CUTE. thank god you can boil silicone. ANYWAYS, tonight as i was perusing the internets while i probably should have been… oh wait, i have no purpose in life… whatever, i’m a genius, check it out!
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the most amazing dildo box EVER!
yes, friends, i am a true visionary. you can thank me for this idea later. i would like to thank the dear folks at tantus for creating my new pink bff “the charmer,” to everyone over at the container store for making a ten-inch high, oddly industrial/bondage-looking (except for the white, but i would decorate it, wouldn’t you?) stemware storage case that to a creative mind, such as my own, is SO OBVIOUSLY A COCK BOX, and finally, i give thanks to long, pointless, lonely nights of self-loathing, which so often turn to ones of self-discovery. provided one is sober. which i am. just fyi. also, to any of you questioning whether ten inches high and 3.25 square inches wide is large enough to contain your dildos, well, you’re a bigger man than me, i say. or, like, technically deeper and wider, i guess. um… yikes.