one would think that being denied membership in a somewhat prestigious webring based solely lack of posts and not content (brilliant content!) would light a fire under said bloggers ass to post more often, but alas, weeks later, here we are. i don’t know what’s wrong with me. i guess i have built up expectations in my mind over what is appropriate to post here, and now even though i gotta say, 90-93% of my thoughts are hilarious, i just don’t know if i want them on my blog. this combined with the fact that i have 
pretty much, save for meeting the love of my life, reverted back completely to my nineteen year-old self. i am eating constantly and without discretion, staying up until 6 a.m. and sleeping in until 2 or 3 p.m, and watching more television than i previously thought possible. the only difference is that i don’t masturbate twice a day, but that is because i have a lot more sex than i did then and i didn’t just get my first vibrator for my birthday (sweet 19, indeed!). this is what happens when i have no job or money. if i had money at least i would leave the house to buy makeup and probably clothes, therefore realizing how fat i’ve gotten and being forced to exercise. ugh, it’s so so so DEPRESSING! i watched that tape of myself again and it made me so sad i had to drink like, seven beers. beers have so many carbs but vodka is expensive! and the cycle continues….
oh well, i have a job interview today, which seems fairly promising and a great opportunity. we shall see.
it’s raining out and as we all know, i hate the rain. i simply cannot stand walking around perpetually damp. it is uncomfortable and makes my hair frizz. luckily, as i mentioned above, i have very little occasion to even step outside. i am staying at j’s house quite a bit and he has directv. it is RUINING MY LIFE. i have logged in enough hours with the law and order team i feel nearly qualified to take the bar exam. hot damn, that show is good! mostly, i enjoy SVU these days because it has ice t on it and jerry orbach is dead so regular law and order is just not the same any more. i miss jerry orbach, probably not as much as his family and friends, but definitely as much as someone who watches seven hours of law and order a day.
i have also been watching movie channels. the other night i was up until about five a.m. watching “happy 
feet” (makes no sense, despite cuteness) and “swimming pool,” which is a french film. i liked “swimming pool” a lot. it reminded me that i love french films because so many of them rattle along, luring you in with their beauty, nudity, and strange calm, then wallop you over the head at the end with something insane. like “fat girl” (american release title)! oh man, you have to see that movie, it’s so good (fucked up). in that vein, i also watched “the quiet” which was sucky but entertaining and also fucked up. mostly i liked it because camilla belle and elisha cuthbert are both crazy hot and the director is jamie babbit, so the movie was crazy lesbionic. good times.
i suddenly feel so talkative! i missed this blog, i guess i really did. some other things i miss include getting a paycheck, the days when “shopping vintage” meant so much more than simply stepping into some glossified, over-priced hovel next to american apparel, and my grandpa living at home (and remembering me). that’s just a few things. i’m sure there is more.