Archive for October 1, 2007

on books and boyfriends

October 12, 2007 Amanda-Faye culture, el sexo, this just in, travels

i feel like it’s almost absolutely necessary to keep in my regular tradition of NEVER writing and then writing about a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really fit together, so that is what i am going to do.

well, for now anyway, because as i mentioned previously, i have quit my job and am going to be having a LOT of free time on my hands to do such frivolous things as write, take classes, and you know, pursue my dreams. it’s going to be alllright. today (friday) is my last day at work and i am unbelievably excited about that fact. i already made appointments with my eye doctor, dentist, and bikini waxer. i am going to be the most well-groomed hobo ever! YAY!

Fgt_3 in case you don’t know, i am well-aware of the political incorrectness of the term "hobo" but i just finished reading fannie flagg’s fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe. it makes me feel kind of like a moron to say this, but this is one of those ultra-rare cases when i think the movie is just way better than the  book. in fact, i was actually pretty disappointed by the book. j promised me it was going to be way more lesbionic than the movie, and while it was a little more intense, the characterization was just not there for idgie and ruth. the same is true of all the other characters. plus, i feel like it is borderline racist. maybe that is the whole point and it was radical for the 80s, but i just wasn’t feeling it. all it made me want to do was see the movie. goddamn, that’s good movie. i did like the added character development of smokey lonesome (the hobo) in the book though. i always liked that character in the movie.

omg, speaking of movies, i REALLY want to see that new vampire movie coming out called "30 days of night," but as you know, death-by-vampire is my second most-feared means of death. i don’t know, i am just sooo curious though. it looks very interesting but way too scary!

i saw about a million commercials for it last weekend when j and i went to palm springs for my friendResorthomerentals_010 moof’s bday. she rented this GORGEOUS resort-like home and we just relaxed and swam and ate for two days, it was amazing. i also got sucked into the strange and wonderful world of cable tv and watched the entire cycle 6 of america’s next top model. i was in HEAVEN. the on saturday night j took me out for a nice filet mignon in downtown palm springs. this was our first vacation together and also marked the first time we have had sex outside of l.a. county lines. well, once he rubbed me out in the car on the way home from orange county, but i didn’t come until we got to long beach, so i don’t think that counts.

yes, i said he. j has a female body, identifies as neither gender, and prefers male pronouns. if that definition sounds a bit rehearsed coming from my foul little mouth, that is because that’s what he told me to say when people start asking all kinds of questions about me dating a boy. to me, he’s just the best time ever. also, he is crazy hot, great in bed, and smells good. last night he asked me formally if i would be his girlfriend and duh, i said yes. i was terrified at first when we met because it all happened so fast and i was finally becoming used to the idea of being alone and wanting to sleep around and just being the all-around poster party-girl. then i met him and we connected from that first night. j is the perfect combination of giving and demanding. he knows how to talk me down from my (daily) ledges with a firm yet gentle voice, he watches america’s next top model with me, and he actually loves and enjoys giving back rubs. at the same time, he also grabs my ass and objectifies me in public sometimes because he knows i like it, communicates effectively with me when he needs something or has had enough of something i need (like ANTM), and is such that i want to please him in any way  i can. the other day, i found myself straightening up his room and realized i surely must be in love because anyone who has seen the way i live knows that it is a grand expedition in any room i inhabit to even find me a matching pair of socks. sexually speaking (haha), i have never enjoyed giving this much before. then again, i have never slept with someone i was this into before. it’s pretty much totally awesome.

i dunno, i guess this mushy stuff is all pretty boring to you guys. i love writing funny stories about my shitty life as much as you love reading them, and i don’t want to jinx things between j and i (there will be/have been complications and frustrations), but i just feel like nothing can really take me down right now. it’s silly, i know, and i don’t really believe anything lasts forever, but this is the first time for a really fucking long time that i have wanted something to last forever, have wanted anything real at all, in fact, and i’m not going to take this feeling for granted. trying not to sabotage it, on the other hand, is a whole separate challenge for me. a daily struggle, but i have chosen to take it on.

this weekend, i am going to enjoy our first weekend of official coupledom, hang out with a lot of friends, old and new, and get ready for the no-work week. so sweet.

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change is bood. (gad?)

October 1, 2007 Amanda-Faye culture, musica, rare moments of optimism, this just in

it’s not that i HATE change. it’s just that i hate not being able to control it and every other aspect of the universe, as long as i’m at it. i don’t like not being able to to make myself feel the exact same way i did at any given time, or have things be the exact same way.

for example, the radio station in l.a. Movin’ 93.9, has changed it’s format after only a few months on the Nice1air. WTF??? okay, it’s not radically different, but the tagline used to be “the mix that makes you move” and now it’s “the 70s and 80s mix that makes you move.” this means that, while you can still hear such 80s classics as nice and wild’s “diamond girl,” you will not be hearing any current dance hits, or even any from the 90s. what it also means is that you will hear a shit ton of disco. this is fine if you crash weddings just to hear kool and the gang sing “celebration” or are my mother. if you are anything like me, though, it makes you very sad and depressed because you fucking hate disco.

i dunno, i was going to maybe start an angry letter-writing campaign, but my past angry letter-writing campaigns have all been imaginary, and therefore not very effective. see: the giant misogynistic american apparel billboard on sunset above burrito king. look, i like ass to the point that it is nearly criminal, but that ad is just ridiculous. i report this injustice to you, of course, from beneath the cradling fibers of solid black american apparel super-low v-neck. damn damn!

Janemagcoveranother change i am lamenting is the loss of jane magazine. i know this is old news, but it’s really just barely starting to sink in. maybe it’s because i am moving back into my old room and realizing that i have PILES AND PILES of old jane mags, as i refuse to throw away anything flammable. i really enjoyed jane because it was super-girly. but with a feminist edge. bust is good too, but it’s not the same. firstly, there isn’t enough makeup in it, and secondly, they seem like they are trying so hard to be liberating to women that they have actually taken things way too far. they talk about penises too much, and how to get one in your mouth and fast, “because you CAN and it’s OKAY to be a feminist and a slut.” i agree, but i don’t need to hear about it that much. plus, i don’t like penises. well, not the kind you can’t sanitize by boiling anyway.

to be honest, the real reason i was extra-bummed at jane’s passing was because i guess i always imagined there would be an article about me in there someday. no, not the cover, but a modest, yet illuminating interview piece. it would feature a picture of me, probably sitting on some stairs, smiling wryly with the side of my face resting in my hand. the subtitle would be “this ‘Failure Princess’ is a real success” and it would be HILARIOUS. oh well. another dream washed away by th cruel tides of time. what are you gonna do?

I KNOW! quit your job with no alternate plan in mind! well, that’s what i did anyway, and i feel GREAT. sure, i am totally fucked financially, but you know, i am tired of sitting around and waiting for something good to happen in my career. i’m going to go out and grab it. i don’t care if i end up writing ebay descriptions for a living, i am going to write professionally. it’s my time to shine, i just know it. well, i actually have no idea, but that’s what i have been told by astrologyzone.com, the psychic that lives with my friend ajai, and most importantly, j, who is totally not blinded by love or breasts.

and so it begins. my search for a job on craigslist, thoughts of going to school, technically living at my mother’s house (don’t tell her, but i am really not living here at all)… all of it. and yet, i am unafraid. some might say this is because i am foolish and spoiled, but i think it’s because this time i am armed with something i have never had before. well, a couple of things.

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