Amanda Failure Princess

i am dying. i just chatted with amy next top mess for like, three hours and we both have the same problem where we are like, sooo tired in the early eve then UP late.

i was seriously up SO LATE last night and then awakened (however pleasantly) super early plus my whole body is sore and i am covered in hickies and bruises to the degree where i honestly feel like i fell down a flight of stairs. i mean, you know, multiple orgasm stairs, but still. anyways, then i had to work today and it sucked and then i was just running around all busy-headed as usual AND THEN i ate spaghetti-o’s (don’t ask) and passed the fuck out for twenty minutes while doing laundry at ajai/tina’s. now i’m here on my last night of house sitting with this little kitty that bites, stressing out because i semi-blacked out on friday night and remember very little except the great “pronunciation of Huntington Beach” argument i was having with some OC locals (which, btw, IS “hun-ting-ton,” technically, as i was arguing. jesus!), spent way too much money this weekend and won’t get paid again until two weeks from today because of this wacky pay period, desperately need a pedicure, and really wish i didn’t have to have a day job.

my job is soooo not a big deal (yet, anyway, i have more training/responsibilities on the way) but look what time it is… i just wish i didn’t have to go to work in the morning. how in gods name am i going to get hired as a General Wit? who is going to create that position and pay me for it? someone who went to college, probably! damnit.

i dunno, though, maybe that’s not the job for me. i keep thinking of clever ideas for stuff and then forgetting them almost immediately. i haven’t even been drinking that much lately (except weds, thurs, friday, saturday, and monday). whatever, i swear, except friday which was a horrible misstep, i have been doing alright-ish. i wasn’t nearly as hammered as everyone else on saturday. of course, that might be because i stuffed my face with every one of the at least four varieties of couscous salads available at that bbq i went to. lesbians heart steamed grain medleys, apparently.

i officially hate the nineties. i know a lot of people hate the nineties because they had so little character and a bunch of dumb stuff happened and kurt cobain died, blah blah blah, but honestly, i find nineties fashion downright offensive. not just because it was hideous, because anyone could make that assessment and be utterly spot-on, but because of the lasting scar it has left on those who were in their late teens and early twenties in the early-mid nineties. now, before my (four) thirty-something friends call me in anger, there are obvious exceptions to this rule. my friend vanessa (of curl girls, lol, let the google hits begin) is one of the most stylish dressers i know. all i’m saying is that for the most part, it seems like a lot of those of that age have never quite been able to escape the specter of that era of fashion. how many times, HOW MANY TIMES have a seen a woman in this age bracket dressed in perfectly semi-acceptable clothing only to look down and spy a pair of 90s chunky heels? seriously, i don’t know why anyone would be that mean to anyone else’s eyes, but it seems that things were just like that in the 90s. i mean, i was there too, i wore many of those fashions, but luckily, as a young teen, i was able to get it out of my system. plus by the late 90s, i had joined the early guard of 80s nostalgists who would come to lay ruin to the fashion creativity of the teens of the mid-late 00s. it is difficult being admired and immitated, but it is honorable. well, kind of.

so, my point, and i do have one, is that this is all very depressing. is this what getting old(er) is all about? being really fucking cool in high school, at the height of fashion, the hottest contempo casuals teen around, then ending up in a tie-back, floral shirt and sketchers drinking beers at a bar in downtown wherever the fuck? or ending up in shitty sunglasses online-dating girls who practice modern day wicca or believe in faeries and talking about how it’s called hair “product” now with your buddies? being stuck in the fashion glory of your high school years and therefore in the same place socially/culturally as well?

where is that going to leave me? not only was i not cool in school enough to be a hip girl, but i wasn’t even cool enough to be a frowned-upon bad-girl outcast. if we were in “the breakfast club,” i would definitely be ally sheedy, and not because she is the hot gay-looking one who lies a lot, but because she was a fucking mess no one really noticed. okay, that was a LIE, i was really popular in high school, but i did dress like her character in that movie kind of. omg, i am totally going to start wearing more greys and browns again!

wait, what were we talking about?