Amanda Failure Princess

just a few notes, because honestly i don’t feel like writing at all. all i want to do is sleep, eat, and fuck, which is a real bummer when you have a job you have to go to, are on a diet, and don’t really trust anyone enough to give it to you exactly how you want it at the moment, which fyi is lengthly and dirty.

anyways.

a) i am house/kittycat sitting for my friend in echo park. this gig is sweet b/c her apartment is nice and cool, she has a ton of dvds (i am currently watching “strangers with candy”), and her cat is super-cute when she’s not attacking me in the morning.

b) i got a new phone today and upgraded my plan to have freeeee messaging to anyone anytime. AIM me! i have dropped my phone once already.

c) i got a bikini wax last saturday. bella was booked so i went with this woman irene who was very sweet and did a good job except she gave me this really skanky, skinny landing strip. i like my strip to be about two fingers’ width and this is maybe one… it looks whorish… i don’t really roll like that. i like to keep a nice, wholesome pussy environment. call me old-fashioned.

d) i also ate at real food daily for the first time EVER last sat. OMG, sooooo good. i almost started crying, my tofu wrap was so delish. i seriously don’t really want to ever eat anything else again, but i don’t have a lot of choices, as i am poor.

e) old people and technology do not mix. this combo leads to such things as camera phone pics of my ailing grandfather eating applesauce flanked by two of my half-heartedly smiling aunts. another example of this would be the time my grandma was out of town when her sister died and the camera phone was there to capture the magic of the wake for her… future enjoyment? DOH!

f) the list of people i like right now is VERY short and most of them have my same last name or would in a true matriarchy.

g) wait, i DO love my fam extra right now, EXCEPT for the fact that they are all on me to have a baby. someone made the big mistake of handing my mom a six-month-old baby at my cousin’s wife’s father’s funeral reception the other day, and i made the mistake of asking to hold the baby, and that baby made the mistake of falling asleep so content and peaceful in my arms and now everyone thinks i must be a natural. the same thing happened a couple of months ago when i semi-babysat my mom’s friend’s baby and she liked me a lot for some reason. i held her close, feeling the love, then started to panic that maybe i was starting to become maternal. i have since realized that it’s not that i like babies, it’s that i like well-behaved ones. and sleeping ones. whew.

i) akbar is slowly but surely becoming a straight bar. look, i don’t have a problem with straight people, but it’s like, ALL bars are YOUR bars. do you have to take over our bars too??? it starts off innocently enough, the fags bring their hags, the hags bring their hag hags, then those hags start bringing their boyfriends because they know they will have their full attention all night. suddenly there is a shit ton of striaght people and the bar is ruined. look, ladies, i don’t wanna see your middle-parted hair, sandals, and eyelet sweaters when i go out to my favorite gay bar. i feel like i have that right as an american. and i don’t wanna watch you make out with your boyfriend. if i wanted that i would park at any given in n’ out on the weekend. FUCK.

well, i guess that’s it. i haven’t felt very social this weekend. i am depressed because my poppo is sick and people dress so poorly. i mean, to way different degrees, OBVIOUSLY, but still, i am weighted down.