Amanda Failure Princess

one thing that really confuses me is intelligence.

omg, that sentence was so funny, hahaha.

what i mean is, all the different types of intelligence(s?) i mean, i think i’m pretty smart and fucking on top of things, and yet, there really is so little evidence to support that conclusion. for example, when i was younger, people used to say, “oh, that amanda-faye. she is so book smart, but not street smart” on account of the fact that i couldn’t find my way from the front door of my house to the back door, let alone home from the grocery store were my mother ever to accidently abandon me there. this remains true today. seriously though, how i am i supposed to know all the names of every street? it is confusing. and i don’t see why i should have to do things like put air in my own tires or call the medical insurance people and ask a bunch of questions about payments and coverage and stuff. shouldn’t i just be able to go to the doctor whenever i want and not think about such complex dealings? i don’t even know where to begin…

and i do stupid things all the time. for some reason, it is pretty much a given that if i pet a cat, moments later i am going to jam my fingers directly into my eye and scratch it as though my hand were clean and i was not mildly allergic to cats, puffiness and redness will ensue, and there is seemingly no lesson learned. goddamn it! aw, speaking of, my roomates just got a cat. her name is stevie nicks and she is an adult russian blue. i was glad they got a grown-up cat because i am starting to realize that my distaste for childen is spilling over onto baby animals. kittens and puppies are cute, i guess, but they are one huge pain in the ass, if you ask me. i prefer cats like stevie, who know where to poop, how to communicate their needs, and like to curl up on top of your laptop bag and quietly listen to you type into the wee hours of the morning. this is also the kind of girlfriend i want, btw, so i am not expecting to become involved with someone any time soon.

anyway, that was all fine and well, i guess, when i was book smart, but i don’t really think i am any more. i have a very special relationship with books and writings in general, but i haven’t been in any really academic classes in school for years and i haven’t read an entire book in probably six months. that is really embarrassing for me to admit because books used to be my life-force. i could read two fat ones in one day. granted, the books i read were never anything overly cerebral, but i always chose ones that would enrich my mind in some way. in fact, i was always a huge nerd in elementary school with at least three non-textbooks in my backpack at a time. in fourth grade i started a mini-library from my desk and lent out a bunch of my R.L. Stine and Christopher Pike books. damned if some of those books never came back! stealing from unpopular nerds = cool, i guess, haha. by god, i wish i had them now because maybe i could use one of them to jump start me into something a little more heavy and written for, like, adults. say what you will, but Pike was good. i think those books really built up my vocab as a child. maybe that’s why i am so dramatic and borderline catastrophic now, but whatevs. my favorite one was fall into darkness. i have read it like a hundred times and it’s still so good! the story is about a girl who fakes her death to get revenge but the undertones are so intense and mournful and really not for children, hehe. i also always loved the cover. imagine my RAGE when they changed it to reflect the t.v. movie out of the book starring tatiana m. ali (ashley banks from fresh prince of bel air) and jonathan brandis (teen heartthrob of the film “ladybugs.” may he RIP).

well, so i know i’m not DUMB, but i’m no literary genius. shockingly insightful, yes, but what does it all mean? where does it come from? what can i do with it?

i know i make grammar and speling mistakes on my blog all the time (i actually just typed that as “blof” hahahaha. thanks, backspace) but that’s partly because i get so excited and don’t actually know how to type. please email me with all concerns, as i am usually kind of a stickler for that stuff. SERIOUSLY. what my point is, i have always been like that, and just kind of assumed that people who didn’t have a huge interest in vocabulary, grammar, and spelling were morons, but as i grow older and wiser (shut up) i am starting to see that isn’t necessarily the case. some of the smartest and funniest people i know have terrible written grammar. yes, it DRIVES ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE, but i suppose there comes a time in our lives where we have to accept each others’ differences and share our diverse knowlege with one another without forcing our way upon anyone else or judging them. i’m totally enjoying everything i have been learning lately, in the most unlikely places.

alright, now stevie is ramming her head into my computer screen purring and she just swatted at my hand as i type. spoke too soon? yes, but at least somebody wants to love me right now.