Amanda Failure Princess

this post is going to be mostly pics, as i am tired and my brain is filled with little fuzzies.

so we headed out on the road at around 11:00 a.m., two hours behind schedule! in our car was myself, ajai, kp, vanessa xkiller, and a whole asshaul of her sew gay t-shirts. sew awesome. we dubbed our car “team something special” and occupied ourselves for the first few hours by listening to the likes of hot chip and r. kelly’s “feelin’ on yo booty.” down the road we met up with amy caron, van, bobbi, and deanna, who we would later come to know as “team jameson party” car. we were munching it up at in ‘n out when lo’ and behold, “team illegal substances” car shows up. ahhh, lesbians love vegetarian-friendly, mid-range fast food joints! what fun!

clockwise from left: kp, hedo, tina, ajai, deanna, bobbi, van, amy, and vanessa. not shown: me, duh.

we rolled in around 7 p.m. after a long day of driving and filming screen tests for our docu-drama “full moon/flower pussy/why doesn’t anyone make fun of kp or vanessa?” (working title), then changed, made a few drinks, and headed out to the lexington for one drink before going to hot pants where my dear friend vera (dj automaton) was spinning an early set. long story short there was a brief fiasco, ajai and i missed the lex, and by the time we got into hot pants we were ready to party. a little too ready. one of the last things i remember about being there was taking two jagermeister shots out of tiny plastic cups. everyone said the dancing part was fun, but i don’t remember anything after vera’s set (which i danced my ass off to. so great!). the pix from in there suck because i was hammered and over-stimulated. then there are a bunch of us on the street trying to get a cab to go to this afterparty, finally giving up and walking to a mysterious van someone supposedly had waiting, then getting into the back of said van and drinking a bottle of jack. wtf?

vanessa about to unleash a world of schoolin’ on the sf dance floor.

freckles and heckles demonstrating how they feel about unauthorized photos. but in an authorized one.

much to their disappointment, there was no smoking allowed in the back of that terrifying van.

amy and lindsey just trying to get thier drink on + my zombie hand reaching for the infamous stolen bottle of jack…

= me shortly after falling into a bush somewhere on the street.

so as you can imagine, i was HURTING the in the morning. normally when i drink i have very little shame, but i hate when i black out because i have no idea what horrible things i may have done, and i KNOW i was off my head that night. kind of bummed about it, but luckily all of my friends are amazing and took really good care of me and didn’t give me a hard time. i woke up in bobbi’s hotel room instead of my own with bobbi, the lovely sujey lee, deanna, and amy. i slept in my clothes (thanks for taking off my boots bobbi!), and then i showered but had to wear the same clothes and no underpants for the better part of the next day, despite the fact that i brought about seventeen costume changes for this two-day trip. ugh! luckily vanessa sells underwear as well as t-shirts. geeze!

hangover burritos at cancun, joined by aubree of swan island and a girl called noodle.

san fran-sujey. post-burrito, pre-lexington vodka sodas.

after some much needed hair of the dog (?) at the lexington (i had two delicious mimosas), we headed to dolores park to where hundreds of gays were demonstrating their freedom. there was public drinking, public nudity, public affection, and all kinds of ladies. it was awesome! it took a while to find our friends but once we did we just seemed to attract more and more people representing l.a. i dubbed our group “the deL.A.gaYtion” get it? ha.

xkiller and caron selling t-shirts and attitude. hahaha.

baby d. protecting her smooth, precious skin from the sun. we don’t call her baby for nothing.

some members of the deL.A.gaYtion dressed more festively than others.

still, i was definitely proud of all of us.

DAMN PROUD!

so it was getting near the time to start wrapping things up before the dyke march at 7 p.m. vanessa, baby d., and i bonded as we took xkiller’s wares back to the car on what was “THE MOST FUCKING HYSTERICAL TRIP TO THE CAR EVERRRR!!!” at least acording to our invisible friend “SHELLLLAYYY.” i got a chance to change into new clothes at the car with the lovely care package ajai brought me from our hotel. i won’t pretend i didn’t order them to bring my my dior perfume and toiletries, but she included some extras i didn’t even think of like my good sunglasses. awww! then we brought back with us the pièce de résistance, the unofficial eastside lesbian mascot, if you will: terry p. the banana suit. amy caron had volunteered earlier to be the banana, but i don’t think she really knew what she was getting herself into. i have seen it before. when someone steps inside that suit, she BECOMES the banana. and what a badass banana she was. let the pictures tell the story….

that’s not coffee in the banana’s cup, i’ll tell ya that much.

okay, so far so good. the banana chillin’ with kp. wait, is that a different drink in the banana’s hand? is that a TECATE LIGHT???

holding the banana’s beer just before she bolted for the hill…

one of maybe a dozen times the banana ran up a hill, did stretches, then rolled down the hill to the delight of the crowd.

is this banana some kind of athletic superhero???

well, she sure falls like a pro.

alright, so i think you get my point. i put myself in charge of minding the banana, thinking there was some remainder of my sweet, little friend amy inside, but the banana had taken over. one minute she was letting me walk along beside her holding her peel, and the next she was tearing off like a yellow devil. at one point she tripped over an orange then picked it up and drop kicked it shouting “well, fuck you, motherfucking orange!” that’s right, a banana drop kicking an orange, and the evening had just begun….

dyke march!

the sign above them said “femme love for sale” why didn’t i think of that?

fierce friends from portland including vera from swan island (middle left) and the always fabulous niki(middle right).

kate the pisces, deanna, and bobbi, feeling the love.

don’t call them milk mustaches. (*blurred to protect the nips of the innocent.)

OMG, IS THAT VANESSA FROM “CURL GIRLS”?!?!?

alright, well, that’s really all i got folks. the march was amazing. everyone was happy and dancing around, there were people hanging out of their windows with signs and beads, we peed in the street a lot and no one minded. it was bliss. we were hanging out on this one corner for quite a bit just talking and running around and enjoying being friends and being gay, and just being out in the twilight of a different city. i was nervous a bit later because we lost the banana (she was fine) and my phone ran out and i ended up getting disconnected from some of my friends, but the friends i was with went to a dance club and cut a rug. it was fun. i didn’t take any more pics because my batteries were low and my face was busy, so you’re just going to have to take my word for it.

i can’t wait for next year!