Amanda Failure Princess

okay, so obviously i haven’t written in a while. this is because i have a problem with commitment. i hate it. i like to go wherever the wind takes me, hoping all the while that the wind takes me into a gay bar.

i feel like a jerk. i feel like an ass. i feel like… OH MY GOD, you guys don’t even know what happened to me today! i went on a catering job for Mystery Restaurant X, which will henceforth be called “Buffalo Kitchen” as my friend christie so affectionately renamed it. anyway i totally felt really butch because i had to lift a bunch of crap, but really the girl that was doing it with me lifted most of the crap. anyway, but i lifted some. and i broke a sweat and even got a cute little u-shaped sunburn on my chest which will probably someday turn into cancer, or worse, prematurely aged skin, but whatever.

so GUESS which celebrities were there? well, there was this old lady who plays the old lady in a bunch of movies. but not the rapping granny. and not jessica tandy because she is dead R.I.P. wait, is the rapping granny still alive?

anyway, also “norm” from cheers was there and he didn’t even get seconds, shattering the myth that fat people love seconds. oh wait, yeah, he totally got seconds, but just on meat, and that’s, like, very low in carbs. and also the woman to your left, who is maybe the HOTTEST older white lady in hollywood. i dunno, i just think she is so sexy. and i totally served her ribs. awesome, eh? she was really nice.

i made a $60 tip on the job, then came out to my car after and saw a nice juicy $50 parking ticket. my third of the month.

i have a sneaking suspicion this post could get me fired. then again, i also have a sneaking suspicion that if i got fired i would be secretly relieved, go on unemployment, and probably enter some sort of mental institution lite, for the only somewhat insane.

this post sounds insane doesn’t it? i’m sorry, i’m just really excited to be back. i have loads of photos and stories, most of which are personal because i am too broke to afford any makeup or new clothes. seriously, i have even been rocking the “fresh” look for like, two months, but that is only because i don’t have any money to afford foundation.

i am thinking of selling my beloved 60gb ipod because i need the money so bad. i would quite frankly much rather turn tricks, but i can’t afford to get waxed and for some reason i feel like even the guys who have to pay for sex probably have way higher standards these days. i don’t know what would give me that idea, but it may have to do with a really long cycle of feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

tra la la.